- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
So mom and pops are throwing an engagement party to get the families together, and I had said I wanted to keep it small. Immediate family and grandparents only, because aunts, uncles, and cousins would put us near 100. No way. Too crazy for me, too expensive for them.
But then my mom’s sister decided to come into town from 10+ hours away the same weekend of the engagement dinner, and my mom felt horrifically uncomfortable not inviting her because she’d be staying at my grandparents house by herself the night of the dinner. awkwarrrddd… But if we invite mom’s sister, we needed to invite all other parent’s siblings too out of fairness. I said as long as the kids were left at home and we weren’t overrun with cousins, that was fine. Aunts and Uncles only are added. At this point mom started suggesting inviting the bridal party and ministers, and it turned into an argument because it was ballooning from the small family dinner I’d wanted. So after some jarbled communitcation, we circled back around to the original issue and said, “IF Aunt K is going to be in town…” (at this point we weren’t 100% sure that she was coming) “… we invite all aunt and uncles out of fairness. If not, they’re not invited.” Dad gave the statement to make sure he understood, and mom and I both agreed to it.
Well, come to find out, Aunt K had heard about the party and was only coming into town under the assumption that she was invited. (Zero foul here, she’s not a presumptuous person, I’m sure she meant nothing by it.) For some reason, mom rationalized that since her being in town wouldn’t be circumstantial and didn’t fit the parameters of our agreement, she shouldn’t be invited. So my grandmother told her not to come and that she wasn’t invited. (I thought the whole point of including aunts and uncles was to avoid awkwardness with Aunt K?? Which is what Mom just made happen for no apparent logic reason?? Arrrgghh.)
So I’m trying not to be mad and just assess the situation… I feel like I should call and explain this miscommunication and somehow make it feel less personal against her? I truly have no problem with her and other Aunts and Uncles attending… But I don’t want her to think she’s getting a pity invitation either? Maybe just let it be? SO. LOST. and I feel like its my mess to clean up since my parents gave me the say on party size. MAYDAY. Help.