Rejected from SSDI and feeling guilty about my parents getting a house for me

posted 2 weeks ago in Career
Post # 16
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

What an incredibly ableist statement. It is comments like yours that fuel the discrimination and judgement against those with disabilities and illnesses. Aside from what others have point out I also wanted to point out that there is a difference between having to work and being fit to work. There are plenty of people with disabilities/illnesses that are doing themselves more harm by working but due to the cost of having to treat/manage their disability/illness and the piitance that disability pays they have to work. Add to that a lot of people with disabilities/chronic illnesses are limited in the work they can do, especially older people who did not have the advantages (like discrimination legislation) that are often available today. This can limit education which limits employment. I know of plenty of cancer patients in the USA that have to work despite it being harmful to their fight. LilliV :  

Post # 18
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes, it is normal to have a tough time getting on SSDI. Most people have to appeal. You will need to decide whether to pursue that route. Been there, done that. Eventually got well enough to get off of SSDI. And now I work with people on disability.

Don’t panic over the fact that right now you are working at housekeeping when you have a college degree. Consider it a positive that at this point you have some capacity to earn money. It doesn’t mean housekeeping will be your entire life. It is what you are doing right now to pay bills. Remember that your worth does not depend on your job title or income. You are not competing with the people you went to college with. I always say that figuring out how to survive with a severe disability is a far greater accomplishment than  other people’s career accomplishments.

Eventually you may be able to access vocational rehabilitation services in your state where they can work with you on finding a job, part time or full time, that is a better fit for your skill or education level. And remember you can always attempt to volunteer at something you consider meaningful.

As for the housing, stop feeling guilty. Is it fair you get a place to live handed to you while others do not? No it isn’t fair. Is it fair that you have autism and bipolar while others are healthy? No, it isn’t fair. If anyone expresses jealousy or resentment, ask them if they want to trade.

Final thoughts on pursuing SSDI. If you are now earning more than $1220 per month, and you sustain this level of work, that will be used as a reason to disqualify you from SSDI. That’s right, the government figures if you can make roughly $15,000 per year, you don’t need any help. if

SSDI I can be a big help financially but the mental strain of fighting them can be tremendous. And even once you are on, you face medical reviews that are stressful. Do you know how much you would get each month? You can find out at That can also help you decide if it’s worth it. After two years on SSDI, you would get Medicare. What are your options for health insurance otherwise?

There is a lot to think about. Ignore anyone who puts you down. You’re in an extremely difficult situation and doing the best you can. He glad you don’t have to worry about housing along with everything else. You can help your parents in other ways.

Post # 19
9163 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

LilliV :  my brother has spina bifida, uses a wheelchair, collects SSI, and works about 10-15 hours a week. the job gives him something to do.  but even if he had a full time job, it would not be enough to cover medical expenses.

he was born with his disability, it is never going to go away, yet every year he has to prove to SSA that he is disabled.


Post # 20
5455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

Anonymous1063 :  my sister was hospitalized during her last appeal. And her psychiatrist was the one helping her apply for disability. She was approved after the initial appeal but it was really hard on her

Post # 21
7676 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

j_jaye :  it was a question. Her original post sounded (to me) like she was able to work without it impacting her physical or mental health, but that she just was disappointed in the type of work she had. If that is not the case then OF COURSE she should fight harder for SSDI. I’m a huge supporter of public services for people that need them – it wasn’t clear from the original post which is why I asked the question. 

Post # 22
4886 posts
Honey bee

Appeal appeal appeal. It seems like many things SSDI or even an insurance coverage are almost denied every time just as a matter of course.  So absolutely appeal it and I’d find a lawyer to work on contingency. I must add please look them up on the Amercan Bar Association website to make sure they are in good standing. There’s a find a lawyer section and you search their name. 

Post # 23
1303 posts
Bumble bee

LilliV :  I don’t think you deserved that response because imo it’s a fair question based on the opening post, I was also questioning why if OP can work 30 hours a week as a housekeeper (which is almost full time) she needs disability payments. Obviously she has expanded on that in further posts, but it wasn’t initially clear imo. 

Post # 24
7676 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

ariesscientist :  thank you! It’s nice to know not everyone treats a question as an accusation. It’s hard to give advice when you don’t have all the information.

ladyspectrum :  based on your update I agree you should appeal. If you enjoy baking have you considered opening a small-order side-business? A few friends of mine do that and it’s relatively low-stress, they create their own hours, etc. They’ll make and decorate treats for birthdays, showers, other celebrations. You can then expand as your health allows. 

Post # 25
1763 posts
Buzzing bee

ariesscientist :  Same here. I had to go back and read LilliV’s post because that response was so harsh. Geez.


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