Post # 1
Showed my fiance’s family my friend’s cake design for our wedding last night. Suddenly my fiance’s sister-in-law said instead of a gift, that she wants to make us cupcakes as guests’ wedding favors. We have never had to heart to tell her that we’ve never liked any of her cakes. And they’re all aware that my bridesmaids have already chipped for an elaborate 3-tier wedding cake meaning there’s even enough for guests to take to go too. Way too much cake either way!
Then the other day, my friend kept sending me pictures of her own paintings that she’s started to draw, and requested we take one as a wedding gift. I didn’t have the heart to say they need a considerable amount of improvement.
At times like this, is it better to graciously accept such gifts, or put yourself in an akward position and just say no? I have yet to reply!
Post # 3
Hmm tough call I would say you had already made arrangements for cake to the one person and with the other ? I didn’t know that getting a gift was a choice ? is she giving you a choice ? Because if u accept it she may expect to we it displayed in your home
Post # 4
When it comes to a gift that’s part of the wedding, I think you can turn it down, like the cupcakes. Just say something like you already ordered or started to put something together, or that you would prefer something that is easier for guests to take with them that can be put into a small purse.
For a gift for you, like the drawing, I think you’re a little more stuck.
Post # 5
@nativedesires: Yes, in both cases, they asked if we want these DIYs as wedding gifts. I thought it was pretty strange too!
Post # 6
@AB Bride: Agreed.
With the wedding it’s easy to say that you already have a cake. For the painting, you have to accept it.
Post # 7
Definitely don’t turn down the painting. What’s your possible excuse? As for favors, you may have to decide on no favors to avoid that social situation.
Post # 8
Accept the painting. It is a gift.
Reject the cupcakes. The cupcakes are different because your SIL is expecting you to pass them on to your guests, i.e. inconveniencing everyone, not just you. Somehow politely say, “No, I’d rather do something else for favors”.
Post # 9
I agree with the others. You can gracefully decline the cupcakes as “you’ve already made arrangements for cake” but the painting you pretty much have to take.
Post # 10
Agreed: the favors are a sweet offer, but you’ve already made other arrangements. The painting — your guests can and will get you anything for a gift. Your responsibility is to thank them graciously.
Post # 11
You can say the painting doesn’t fit your decor. If your Fiance doesn’t mind, then use him as the excuse and say he said no.
Post # 12
Tell your fiance’s SIL that your bridesmaids chipped in for a huge cake and that you’ve fallen in love with some totally cute favors already, but thanks so much for thinking of us. For the painting, you’re pretty much stuck. You can’t really tell your friend that she stinks. You can always put it up in a den or computer room or something.
Post # 13
Hmmm cupcakes – easy fix, say you’ve already made or purchased your favors. Painting….kinda iffy – is there ANY way you don’t have room for one? If you already have all your walls covered in pics/paintings can you say something like “OMG I would love one but sadly we just don’t have the room”? If you can’t, I think you’re stuck with it. You can always put it up when she comes over lol.
Post # 14
I don’t think you need to accept the cupcakes, sinc you’ve got cake covered. I do think you need to accept the artwork, though.
Post # 15
In the cupcakes case, I would just explain that you’ve already got a TON of cake, so it would really be overkill. Perhaps instead you could ask her to make some just for you and Fiance to enjoy after the wedding? Then she gets to give you a gift, you can choose to eat them or not, and everyone stays happy.
As for the artwork – I would say accept that, or (I don’t know what you’re living situation is) say that you’d like to wait until you have somewhere great to display the piece. I know that, personally, I don’t have any wall space left until we move into a bigger place. If nothing else, graciously accept and display it at a later date.
At least you have people who want to gift you something! 🙂
Post # 16
It is very simple, to Future Sister-In-Law “thank you so much for your offer. I wish we would have known before we bought favors and ordered the cake. Unfortunately, I think all of the effort would would put into them wouldn’t be appreciated.”
For the friend “thank you so much.” Then take it and put it in your closet. You are under no oligation to display it.