(Closed) Rekindling a friendship with member of opposite sex…inappropriate??

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

It’s completely fine. Just because you are married doesn’t mean that your friendships are now limited to one gender.

Post # 4
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think as long as all partied involved, you, your husband, and your friend, are expecting a platonic relationship then it’s fine. I have male friends, and my Fiance does not care. He knows neither I nor my friends will ever cross any lines. However, if you think there could be a possibility of any romance or crushes developing, I wouldn’t even bother. It’s not worth the potential drama and heartache to open that door.

Post # 5
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nope. You tell the hubby and you’re all good.

Post # 6
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Miss Sorbet:  Nothing wrong here. The friend is totally in the know about your marital status since he asked you questions, and you happily answered them. Since you said your Darling Husband has heard childhood stories about this friend, just tell him quickly about your recent FB friend add, and ask him if he’d like to meet him sometime. Just be up front, invite hubby so he doesn’t feel threatened, and enjoy.

Post # 7
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all. If anything it shows that you care for those who have played an important role in your life. I wouldn’t talk to your Darling Husband about it, you shouldn’t have to ask for permission to be friends with someone. A simple “You would not believe who contacted me on fb! It was so nice to hear from him, I would love for us to meet up with him for drinks sometime” would be plenty to get across that you only want to meet an old friend. 

Post # 8
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think theres anything wrong with it, I’ve done the same thing. Just don’t keep Darling Husband in the loop (: I’m happy for you that you got to catch up with a long time friend!

Post # 10
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it either since it is an old friendship. However, if you start feeling like you are doing something wrong or that you would be upset if it was the other way around, then I would rethink your friendship.

Post # 11
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had the same thing happen to me! Like, the EXACT same thing! Me and my childhood friend went out to dinner alone ONCE to catch up, Fiance knew all about it ( actually Fiance knew him from when we were little too) and from then on it was always a group thing or a double date. I admit Fiance was a little weirded out I wanted to have a dinner just me and him even though he understood I just wanted to catch up.

Post # 12
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hehe…I think you were refering to my post.  I only meant it in the “meeting someone new of the opposite sex and hanging out with them instead of your spouse” kind of way though.  You were just friends with the guy and never slept with him so I don’t see how it would be weird. He also knows you are married, etc. and you’ve talked to your husband about it so I think it’s ok.  NOW, if you start planning to visit him for the weekend w/o your Darling Husband, I’d be worried.  

Just a piece of advice though, my Darling Husband isn’t exactly in the camp of being “friends” with some old guy, so if it were me, I’d “limit” my contact so Darling Husband didn’t think I was “obsessing” about someone new or old. (:

Post # 13
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If you feel weird, why don’t you bring your DH?  Or, if you don’t want Darling Husband to feel left out while you and your old friend talk about old times, you could have him meet you later.  Go out for dinner with this friend and then grab some beers with your Darling Husband and him!

Post # 14
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Nothing wrong with this.

 

You have never been romantically involved, or had those feelings, so I cannot see why it could be considered inappropriate 🙂

Post # 15
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think in this case it’s fine since he’s a childhood friend and you never dated him.  If your Darling Husband is ok with it, then I don’t see anything wrong with it.  Congratulations on keeping in touch with such an old friend, btw.  I think that’s awesome. 

I don’t think anyone can throw out a general “rule” that fits every circumstance as far as opposite sex friends go.  It’s a case-by-case decision, lol.

Post # 16
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh wow.. HOW COOL IS THAT!! After 10 years you found each other again! Unreal. Catch up for sure.. No problemo. Long as you told your husband I think its awseome!

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