- 2 years ago
I’d like to her you out, and see what you think about my issue, I’ll appreciate it with my heart.
I am glad I stumbled upon your website. I have read lots of interesting facts, and I am appreciative of the effort that you put into putting it all together. I want to share my story with you, and see your perspective on it, and the best course of action. I apologize in advance if my story is long, but I want to give you as much detail as possible.
I met this girl, let’s call her M, back in November. I am a chemistry tutor at the school I go to, and she needed some help. We locked eyes, and we immediately knew there was something going on. She kept coming for tutoring, we started talking more and more, and she finally gave me her number. Over time, she noticed my flirting over text, and said that she had a boyfriend, and that she respected her relationship (guy also comes to our school). We stayed friends, as she was cool and all. We kept seeing each other at school, and with each encounter, we became closer, and the chemistry grew. I always kept my distance and respected her. Last day of school came in December, and her group of friends and her invited me to the bars to eat and drink. Once we started drinking and all, it was obvious we had a thing for each other, and her friends took note. That night I had to say goodnight because I was going on vacation for a month, and we hugged, flirted, but never kissed (I said I respected her, and that it was not gonna happen).
We kept talking over Whatsapp while I was away, each day being closer and closer. She ended up breaking up with her ex boyfriend by the end of December. While we were texting, she asked me to be patient with her, and to take things slow. I agreed to it. When I came back from vacation on January, she picked me up from the airport, and we kissed like in the movies. We started dating, and we had our ups and downs, but in general it was a beautiful relationship. I discovered many things I had never done, and she did too. We complemented each other, and our chemistry was amazing.
I started uploading pics of us or just her in my Snapchat over time. Not all the time, but whenever we would be doing cool stuff. I noticed she never posted me on hers, so by February I decided to politely ask her her reasons. She said that because she ended things with her ex in good terms, he was still on her social media, and she would not want to post anything because he will see it and probably get hurt. I was understanding, and let the issue go.
Fast forward six months into our relationship, we went to Vegas over the weekend exactly a month ago. It was a nice first road trip, and my first time going there. We went out to the strip, and I posted a couple of pics with her and her friends, having a good time and all. I noticed she never posted anything on hers, and because I had had shots, my mind was thinking again about why she never posted me on her social media. We ended up having a fight, and next day we finally talked. She said: “I am not ready for what you are ready for. It is not that I am ashamed of you, or keeping you secret. I am not ready for what you are ready for.” I was sad, because I did not understand how, after six months, this could be the case.
On our way back, I was frustrated and started asking her all kinds of questions, and this led to a fight again. She finally said, “I think I need some time.” She also said that she was dealing with depression, and family issues with her sister. A week passed by, and I noticed her growing distant, not responding as fast anymore. We finally met after a week, and she said that she needed to deal with her depression on her own, that she needed to be on her own, to be ok with it, and that I could not help her with this issue. I accepted and honored her request, and we hugged. She said, “This does not mean we can’t be together in the future, I just need to sort this out on my own.” She said see you later? Then I left.
We would text “regularly”, but she would take longer and longer to reply. She said I missed you one time, and I am thinking about you, on fourth of July. But this was just making me very confused. She started posting on social media more than ever before she was with me, going on hikes with her girlfriends, drinking with her girlfriend too. One day she asked me if I had played soccer with the guys (she remembered I play soccer on sundays) and I said the guys did not show up. She said that she would love to play soccer with me for a bit. We met, played soccer, had fun, hugged, went to her apartment, and we talked for a bit. She kissed me, and then apologized, saying she should not have kissed me when things are like this with us. I was even more confused now. One day she didn’t reply for an entire day I decided not to answer, and the next morning I woke up to a “is everything OK?” text. I finally had the courage to share I was not ok, and I said, “I am not, realizing I am not a priority anymore is a hard pillow to swallow. Coming to terms with this is harder than I thought. I am waiting hrs and now days for your reply. I am not saying you have to, but it is just hard” To which she replied: Oh, I think it is the other way around. You take long to reply to me, and I don’t reply when I am either sleeping or at work, which I know is a lie because she is online on Instagram… Then after this little argument, she stopped texting me for a couple of days. I then texted her apologizing, and that I understand her needs for space…etc. She said it is cool… then I asked her would you rather not hear from me? She said of course I want to hear from you, I just don’t want to make things harder than they have to be. I had already read about the no contact rule and all that, and I tried to implement it for four days, but then I broke it, saying the following: “I read past conversations that we had, and I remember you asked me to be patient with you and to take things slow, as you had just gotten out of a relationship. I am sorry I put you in an awkward situation by asking too much from you, stuff you are not ready for. I recognize my mistake.” She replied as this: “Hi Julio. Thank you for this. Don’t re read our conversations though. I don’t want you to dwell on it. It is all good, I just need to focus on taking care of myself on my own. I appreciate the apology, but its not necessary. You were/are ready for a serious relationship. And as much as I told myself I was, I am not. And I am sorry if I misled you. That was not my intention. I care about you deeply, I am just not in the same place as you, like you mentioned. You are an amazing person, and you will always have a special place in my heart. I hope you are doing well” I panicked, and asked her if this was her goodbye. Then I made a mistake and sent her a message… thank you for everything and bla bla bla, kinda like saying goodbye. I was destroyed after reading this message. It has been four weeks since she broke up with me, and I am lost still as to what to do.
I texted her that day, saying that I understand truly her needs, and I honor them. Sorry for having acted like that for the past two weeks, as I was learning from this life experience, and that wanted her happiness. I am here for you, and have a good day. Since then, I have implemented the no contact rule. It has been five days ever since we last texted. She has posted a couple of times on her Instagram, stories and pics, and snapchat as well. I have not liked any of her pictures and have not seen any of the stories, so I am sure she has taken notice that I am not looking at her stuff anymore. It is hard not to look, and not to see what she is up to, but it seems she is just trying to be active, hiking and spending time with her close girlfriends.
This is where I am now. She broke up with me a month and a half ago. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for taking your time to read my story.
Update : I just realized she unfollowed me on Instagram this morning …