Relationship advice

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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goldenheart :  Honest truth?  I do not know a single couple who’s gotten back together after one person said “I need space.. maybe wait for me?”

You need to let her go, for good.  Whatever her reasons (and she may not even be entirely sure of them) she does not want to be in a relationship with you.  

Breakups suck.  Look after yourself, hang out with your friends, keep busy.  Throw yourself into work/study/hobbies but also treat yourself.  Over time it will get better.  

Post # 4
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

Not sure what you need feedback for. I know it’s hard, but you’re not together any more and she’s fine with that. When you find a good match, you’ll feel like you’re a priority for them, they won’t keep you waiting, you’ll know that they’re into you instead of wondering. Keep busy, don’t check up on her, and the sorrow will start to feel less intense within a few weeks, I think. 

Post # 5
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Unfollow her on social media too.

She’s not ready for a relationship and there’s really nothing you can do except carry on with your life. It’ll take time to heal. But don’t expect you two would get back together in the future.

Post # 6
Member
11140 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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goldenheart :  

You’re going through one of life’s most agonizing experiences—lost love.  If you’re still young, it hits you harder because you  haven’t developed a frame of reference yet.  Once you have of few of these wretched breakups under your belt, you come to realize that the wounds are not actually lethal, though it certainly some feels like you won’t survive the pain.  But, you will.  And you’ll meet new people.

I am taking a guess that you’re a guy?  Breakups are one area in which we have it all over the men.  Most women know how to do breakups.  We lean into them, rather than away from them.  We cuss, cry, yell, and dance, all at the same time.  We understand the minimum daily requirements for chocolate and ice cream immediately post breakup.

And we will tell our story to anyone who will listen.  Oh, what the hell, who cares if they’re really listening or not?

IOW, women are better breaker uppers.  I’ve seen so many cases in which men to suffer terribly while we let ourselves push through the process and make it to the other side 

At least your ex is no longer sending you confusing signals.

Post # 7
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry. Breakups are the worst. I don’t think you should wait around for this girl. She is clearly checked out and isn’t invested in the same way as you. I wouldn’t suggest trying to be friends if you have feelings as it will just get confusing again.

Post # 8
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It’s always hard when you want something the other person does not. It seems like she was stringing you along which hurt you in the end. At this point, I would let her go. It’s hard to come to terms with, but at this point you just have to move on. Stop checking her social media, put her out of your thoughts as much as you can. Try hanging out with friends or focus on your hobbies for awhile to help distract from the pain. BUT, if she does ever come back and wants to get back together, make sure you both are very clear on your expecatations for the relationship from the beginning.

Post # 9
Member
895 posts
Busy bee

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goldenheart :  I know break ups suck and I am so sorry that happened to you. Since she removed you from Instagram, you also need to block her from your phone, facebook, and cease contact with her. Everytime she initiates contact with you its like ripping the band aid off raw skin. Its painful and worse it sends mixed signals.

I will be honest with you the whole social media thing was a red flag. Never posting your pictures or tagging you as someone who was with her on a date somewhere, seems like she was hiding you. That is definitely not a good sign. Really it sounds like she was maybe keeping her options open. I dont buy the “well I ended things on good terms with my ex,” especially six months into a new relationship. 

Now before I get flamed from the other bees I do understand that social media isnt as important to other people and Im usually one of those, but when someone is posting every aspect on their life on social media but wont post pics of their bf/gf then thats a little shady. 

So from my perspective its like she was really just stringing you along as a back up or maybe her and the ex boyfriend were on a break and she didnt want to be alone. Whatever it was, you need to move on and consider yourself lucky.

When you meet the right girl, she wont be hiding you from anyone. She will be telling the whole world what a great guy you are and vice versa. Now you have time to hang with friends and maybe you will meet the right girl for you in the process.

Good luck and do not whatever you do contact her, and dont take any text or calls from her either. 

Post # 10
Member
455 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry, I could not read all that. Seems you are holding onto a girl that’s not that into you. Move on. There are lots of girls who will put in just as much effort as you do in relationships. 

Post # 11
Member
2617 posts
Sugar bee

You need to let this one go. It’s always a bit of a risk dating someone just out of a relationship because it’s easy to become the rebound. When people first get out of serious relationships they have a person shaped hole in their lives and some people tend to rush into secondary relationships to ease that pain. They often act like they’re more serious about the relationship than they actually are because they’re trying to fill the space of a serious relationship. 

It doesn’t sound like she was ready for the kind of relationship you were after. It might not even have progressed as far as it did if she weren’t on the rebound. 

It’s also not fair for her to drag this out by keeping you on the hook. She’s still using you for comfort and attention even though she doesn’t want to date you. Stop communicating with her and move on. 

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