Relationship Advice: Forgiveness

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

To put it bluntly, you put yourself in that situation by agreeing to date and hook up with other people. And what’s weird to me is it took him almost a year to decide he wanted to be exclusive with you? Sounds like you’re just a matter of convenience to him. Sorry!

Post # 3
Member
7074 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is a lot of drama. The start of a relationship should be the easy part! It just shouldn’t be this hard for two people who are right for each other to get together. This just doesn’t sound like the right relationship for you.

Post # 4
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It shouldn’t be that hard. Don’t you want someone who genuinely desired to only be with you? Why settle? 

Post # 5
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Honestly this sounds like the typical college relationship.  I was in a sorority and my now fiancé was in a fraternity when we first met.  I’ll tell you, it was a nightmare at first.  I spent months pursuing him, while he slept with other girls and was shady about a relationship.  So I drifted too, started seeing other guys.  I had some fun.  Finally at that point it occurred to him that I mattered, and two weeks later I got a midnight text from him saying he loved me for the first time on his 21-run.  It’s all in the past now, and he turned out to be the most incredibly kind, loving, mature, grounded and committed man of my dreams. 

It’s an interesting time in your lives, for better and for worse.  We had a blast but our start was nothing but heartbreak for me.  But it was worth it!  I was a bit crazy too, but if you give him the space to flap his wings and figure out at what point in his life he’s ready for real commitment, if he’s a good man, he’ll let you know. 

Post # 6
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hate to say it, but he’s just not that into you. You need to find a man who wants to be with you from the off and not mess around like this 

Post # 7
Member
709 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think he is that into you. And you’ve painted yourself in a bad light going against what you originally said you wanted – now he is going to think you are a push over and go back on other boundaries you set. I would honestly just cut ties. 

Post # 8
Member
3495 posts
Sugar bee

“he would go nearly out of his way for a while to put me down in front of friends or to stay as far away from me as possible.”

Sounds like a winner! DTMF. Life is too short. 

Post # 9
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee

 

woahdude896 :  Forgive yourself for trying to hang on to this relationship.

Move on, you deserve better. A little counseling might help to figure out why you would want to settle for him, and how to make healthy choices in the future.

Post # 10
Member
19 posts
Newbee

He sounds like the worst. I’ve no idea why you wanna be with him. He’s doing everything in his power to destroy your self esteem

Post # 11
Member
1694 posts
Bumble bee

You’ve invested way too much time in a guy who doesn’t want to be committed to you. Please do yourself a favor and move on. 

Post # 12
Member
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Nah, don’t forgive him. He doesn’t deserve it. Move on and don’t date players in the future!

My college dating life was drama free because I refused to get involved with guys like this. If they wouldn’t leave me alone I’d invite them to one of those high tea rooms populated with old ladies and talk about my teapot collection and how much I love babies and hope I have all girls as an excuse to decorate my entire house in pink and lilac colored florals and host mani/pedi slumber parties every weekend… just to get them to run away screaming. 

Post # 13
Member
9844 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

You lost respect for yourself. That’s the point where you need to stop in the future and remind yourself:

 if it’s your self respect or this man, pick your self respect. 

By lowering your standards to keep him, you’re sending the message that you don’t value yourself. He is obviously drawn to this. So he’s not a keeper. 

Make a commitment to yourself. Stand up for yourself. Dump him. Move on. 

Post # 14
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Your issue is that you decided to let an asshole treat you like shit and are now suddenly expecting a different outcome.

an asshole is an asshole. He already showed you exactly who he is. What makes you think this time is going to be anything different?

And to put it bluntly you sure gave this guy plenty of ridiculous opportunities to act in a better way toward you and he still used you for sex, made you feel like shit and was ashamed to be in public with you. This is just really sad.

Post # 15
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

BalletParker :  +1

“By lowering your standards to keep him, you’re sending the message that you don’t value yourself. He is obviously drawn to this.”

^OP see above. Definition of an asshole

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