(Closed) Relationship Advice Please?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2415 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think it is time you move on. You deserve someone who doesn’t lie to you!

Post # 18
Member
24 posts
Newbee

Block his number from your phone & run. Run far, run fast. This guy is a manipulator, but in a passive-aggressive way. My personal rule is that you break up for a reason. I never take a guy back. It has served me well.

You sound like you are moving forward, keep going. You will have other relationships, as long as you focus on your own future and making yourself a worthy partner. Expect the same from your partners and I’m sure you will get it.

Demand the same quality, durability, and comfort from a boyfriend that you would from a good pair of shoes!

Post # 19
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you don’t feel it, don’t go back.

I went through a lot (I mean a lot) of relationships before I found the  right person for me. Some of them were pretty good, some of them, I swear someone should’ve organized an intervention. The thing those relationships did for me was help me learn what I want and need in a relationship, and what I don’t want and don’t need.

As much as people romanticize “first love” there are only a very few, very lucky people  that actually get it right, right out of the gate. You already know, in your heart, whether or not this relationship is what you want for your future; don’t be afraid to listen to yourself.

Post # 20
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@Smart1:  

+1

Demand the same quality, durability, and comfort from a boyfriend that you would from a good pair of shoes!

😀 

Post # 21
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Why are you even questioning this. You are young, go and find someone who is honest and hard working. Once a lier, always a lier if you ask me. 

Post # 22
Member
5949 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…you know, my first bra was a significant part of my life for a while there too, but after a while, the damn thing just didn’t fit anymore!  Nostalgia and love are two entirely different things, and it sounds like your just stuck on a loop with this guy, which happens, so don’t be too hard on yourself over it, but next time you see his number on your phone, just think of that little stringy bra we all started out with when we were young….he’s not what you need anymore, there’s nothing really wrong with him, he just can’t handle what you’ve got…there’s no reason for hard feelings, it’s just time for you to go out, and find yourself the cross your heart, 18 hour underwire support that you need…metaphorically speaking.

Post # 23
Member
10354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

1st love is usually not your best love, otherwise we’d all be married to our first loves! Almost nobody is. It sounds like you’ve evolved past an immature somewhat unhealthy relationship and are ready to move on – good for you! Cut those ties!!

Post # 24
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee

It seems like you don’t even really want to get back together with him. But you do need to end it completely and cut all contact, because right now it seems like you’re stringing him along a little bit. It’s okay to outgrow someone and not have feelings for them anymore…it doest get better and you find new loves and new experiences. But do the difficult thing and break up with him completely. Tell him you will not be getting back together. And then eat ice cream. Drink wine. Take bubble baths. Watch funny movies and TV shows. Allow yourself to mourn the loss of the relationship completely, but then move on and enjoy what your life has to offer.

Post # 25
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@Nona99:  Exactly! lmao

@jwinnings You’re having a hard time letting go because he won’t let you go! Time apart includes calls and texts. He needs to respect your space & let you clear your head. First love’s are very difficult to walk away from, but it sounds like in your case you’ve really outgrown him. I was devastated when things ended w/ my first love, but after about a month apart I was so happy/free/excited to start my new life. It’s normal to have second thoughts, just don’t forget why you left in the first place. I hope everything works out for you.

Post # 26
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Don’t go back to him. It will be very hard, possibly the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you need to walk away and cut off contact. Let yourself miss him, but don’t let yourself go back to him. It is so hard to know when to end your first relationship because it’s your first, and you’ve never done it before; it’s nearly impossible to accept the signs that the relationship is over the first time around. They say hindsight is 20/20, and that goes double for first relationships. Trust the other women here on the board that from everything you’ve said, it is clear that this relationship’s time has come. It will take you a long time to get over, and it will be sad, and you will miss him and the relationship for a long time (possibly the good parts and the happy memories forever!), but that does not mean you were meant to be with him. And it will be hard because you will have to get to know yourself as you are now, without him and without that relationship. There will be some growing pains as you develop into the independent woman you are now, because it’s likely that you were a very different person when you started that relationship and you’ll have to get yourself “unstuck” and play catchup. Like a previous poster said, it sounds like you have outgrown him and the relationship, and that you need to just cut 100% of contact. 

I promise you that he will be ok, and I promise you that you will be with someone better than him. Someone else WILL love you as much or (probably!) even more than he does. It will be different, but that is ok. Good luck!

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