Post # 31
After this thread and speaking with friends, I decided to talk to SO about how I was feeling with how he wanted to manage finances in the future.
I felt pretty awkward about bringing it up as its not something that is worrying me now, but more so in the future once we are married and have children – but he listened and then suggested that we open up a joint expense account that we both contribute a set amount of money for expenses and then keep our own accounts for our personal expenses and ‘fun’ money.
He explained that he hadn’t given it much thought. That he had some loose ideas on how things would work but until the time came he wasn’t going to set anything in stone. He said he knows I am a planner and in the future if something doesn’t sit right with me to communicate that with him and not let it fester.
He said we could open the account now, but I said I’m happy to continue on as we are now and when our roommate moves out next year we then open an account together which he was happy with.
All in all, it was a successful talk and an outcome we are both happy with.
Thank you everyone!
Post # 32
thepinkflamingo: yay! Glad to hear you got it sorted out. One other option to consider is joint credit cards vs joint accounts. My Fiance and I have 3 of these and the majority of our day to day spending goes on those cards. Then we just sit down together once a month to go over the statements and figure out who pays what. All three of our cards have great rewards that we use to fund vacations, holidays, etc. We pay them off in full every month.
We do try to split everything fairly evenly when it comes to the house. I pay the mortgage, he pays all the utilities, cell phone bill, etc. We’re doing a lot of renovations on our house right now. I work freelance and am on a contract that pays pretty well, so I’m paying for more of that. He’s covering more of the groceries, eating out, etc. But that’s just a short term agreement.
Overall, this has worked very well for us. We discuss all major purchases beforehand (like the new fridge we just purchased). But then if I want to drop $200 on new clothes on Black Friday, I can do it, no questions asked. I just have to be sure I have enough to pay for my portion of the credit card bills. We also have separate savings and retirement accounts. We have discussed those a little and will have more discussions as our wedding draws nearer.
Post # 33
My friends who live together and have very different incomes pay their bills based on percentages of their income which I think is brilliant!
Fiance and I will have a joint account once we are married, with a budget. Fiance says that a married couple is “one” and that means we share all our finances and assets. “What’s mine is yours,” and all that.
Post # 34
I much more agree with percentage of income if you aren’t going to combine finances. If you do not combine finances and he makes much more than what you do, don’t be afraid to speak up and say that you cannot afford to go out on Friday night, or that when he wants to move to a different apartment or buy a house that YOU cannot afford it. That might make him realize that if he is making you pay half on an income that is far less than his, it isn’t fair.
From the time we were seriously dating, Darling Husband and I never differentiated between his money, my money and our money. When he had an emergency come up, I paid his rent one month. We both decided to have me stay home with our children, and I bought groceries and items for the kids and for myself without “asking”. I cannot even imagine how humiliating that would be. Just because I was at home did not mean I wasn’t an equal partner; I would never be reduced to asking for money. Now I am working again, and it is a welcome bonus for us, but there is still no change in how we treat money.
I guess if I didn’t trust someone, I wouldn’t be married to them.
Post # 35
- Wedding: March 2016 - Miami
thepinkflamingo: Here’s what we plan to do (only thing holding us back is we’re lazy lol We just need to find time to head over to the bank…)
We’ll have a joint checking and one joint savings, plus keep an additional personal checking account each:
-All savings goes in the one savings account. We already see it as our money.
-We’ll use the joint checking to pay all shared expenses… rent, utilities, lawn, mobile phone bill, dog stuff, kid stuff in the future, etc. We’ll make sure we both put enough of our paychecks in that account to cover everything, plus probably some extra as a cousion.
-The rest of our paychecks will go in our personal checking. Esentially “spending money,” plus we’ll probably just keep paying our cars from our personal since we’ve both been managing that individually for so long. And even that, when we run into car repairs we treat that as an expense we both have to deal with… basically what’s a “shared” expense has already been evoloving to include more and more.
We also have our own credit cards, and one that we share. It’s never been an issue. I’m the one who uses it more, and pays it more. And he’s not the type to go nuts with charging stuff, so it works just fine.
Maybe a mine, yours, and ours type of arrangement like that would work for you?