(Closed) Relationship isn't progressing after 4 years together, what should I do?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think that unless/until you work on yourself and the “issues” you are bringing to the relationship, you can’t expect anything to change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten. 

Maybe you need to take some time to focus 100% on yourself and your personal growth and progression, before you can successfully achieve progression in this (or any) relationship…

Post # 3
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Without knowing any other details, I’d advise you to go your separate ways. Life is too short to spend time feeling anxious and depressed and always wondering what the situation is. Find someone who you are sure about and who feels sure about you, too!

Post # 4
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You separated to try to improve things, and things still aren’t improving. I think that means it’s time to move on and focus on growing as an individual. 

Post # 5
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think your gut is speaking pretty clearly that this isnt the relationship for you. It shouldnt be this hard. Time to let it go. 

Post # 6
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

kayla037:   A good relationship is one in which you are your best self.  Sounds as if this might be a good time for you to spend some time with yourself, grow as an individual, be certain of who you are.  Then you can be a strong partner.  You are well on your way – recognizing the imbalance in your current relationship speaks well of your self awareness.  Best wishes to you!  🙂

Post # 7
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t have to be this hard. 

Go your separate ways, find yourself some help for your issues, be single, and try again with someone else. This is coming from someone who was once in a similar situation (though the roles were reversed).

Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Move on.  He has no intentions of moving forward.  You are anxious and insecure because your relationship isn’t stable.  I would bet you $10 that he told you that you were too dependant on him for things and that he suggested the move out.  Life is calling… RUN before you miss the call!

Post # 9
Member
2930 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

kayla037:  I agree with you that after 6 months of not being together you guys should be clear on what you want.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound good for you.  I think you’re wasting time with him.  You can love someone and have them not be a good fit for you (been there, done that).

Take this time to focus on yourself and enjoy being single.  I know it’s hard when everyone else around you is coupled up. Relationships should not be this hard.

Post # 10
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

You were together for four years. You seperated because things weren’t working. They’re still not working. Time to part ways. Good luck OP.

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

kayla037:  I’m new here! I will tell you this once. Get out on your own. If you are passionate about what you are doing pursue it.  Being alone will teach you a lot about yourself and give you the confidence you need at being successful about your life.  You have to love yourself first before you can give love.  You need to do this to gain self esteem and be your true authentic self.  You cannot give to someone what you don’t have.  So go and get your own life and do not depend on anyone but you.

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