(Closed) Relationship isn't progressing after 4 years together, what should I do?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think that unless/until you work on yourself and the “issues” you are bringing to the relationship, you can’t expect anything to change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten. 

Maybe you need to take some time to focus 100% on yourself and your personal growth and progression, before you can successfully achieve progression in this (or any) relationship…

Post # 3
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Without knowing any other details, I’d advise you to go your separate ways. Life is too short to spend time feeling anxious and depressed and always wondering what the situation is. Find someone who you are sure about and who feels sure about you, too!

Post # 4
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You separated to try to improve things, and things still aren’t improving. I think that means it’s time to move on and focus on growing as an individual. 

Post # 5
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think your gut is speaking pretty clearly that this isnt the relationship for you. It shouldnt be this hard. Time to let it go. 

Post # 6
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
kayla037:   A good relationship is one in which you are your best self.  Sounds as if this might be a good time for you to spend some time with yourself, grow as an individual, be certain of who you are.  Then you can be a strong partner.  You are well on your way – recognizing the imbalance in your current relationship speaks well of your self awareness.  Best wishes to you!  🙂

Post # 7
1359 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t have to be this hard. 

Go your separate ways, find yourself some help for your issues, be single, and try again with someone else. This is coming from someone who was once in a similar situation (though the roles were reversed).

Post # 8
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Move on.  He has no intentions of moving forward.  You are anxious and insecure because your relationship isn’t stable.  I would bet you $10 that he told you that you were too dependant on him for things and that he suggested the move out.  Life is calling… RUN before you miss the call!

Post # 9
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
kayla037:  I agree with you that after 6 months of not being together you guys should be clear on what you want.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound good for you.  I think you’re wasting time with him.  You can love someone and have them not be a good fit for you (been there, done that).

Take this time to focus on yourself and enjoy being single.  I know it’s hard when everyone else around you is coupled up. Relationships should not be this hard.

Post # 10
2403 posts
Buzzing bee

You were together for four years. You seperated because things weren’t working. They’re still not working. Time to part ways. Good luck OP.

Post # 11
10 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

View original reply
kayla037:  I’m new here! I will tell you this once. Get out on your own. If you are passionate about what you are doing pursue it.  Being alone will teach you a lot about yourself and give you the confidence you need at being successful about your life.  You have to love yourself first before you can give love.  You need to do this to gain self esteem and be your true authentic self.  You cannot give to someone what you don’t have.  So go and get your own life and do not depend on anyone but you.

The topic ‘Relationship isn't progressing after 4 years together, what should I do?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors