Post # 1
The relationship I have with my boyfriend of 4 years is rather confusing. We lived together up until about 6 months ago. Our goal since then has been to focus on being happy again, together and individually. We came to an agreement that I wouldn’t move back in until we were engaged, if it ever even came to that.
We have a lot of issues that I feel are mainly on my end. I am very insecure with myself and the relationship, always have been for no reason, and relied on him heavily for everything when we lived together, almost like a parent.
Besides all of that, I feel like our relationship really isn’t progressing, and I’m starting to feel like we’re both wasting our time. I find myself feeling anxious and depressed. We are behaving the same way we did when we lived together. We did exciting things for about a month after I moved out, but it’s gone back to the old routines.
I try to communicate my frustration with him, but he just plays it off. I know you can’t write out a timeline, but I feel like after 6 months of not living together, we should both be on the same page of what we want for our future, whether that be together or apart. We don’t talk about it at all.
Post # 2
I think that unless/until you work on yourself and the “issues” you are bringing to the relationship, you can’t expect anything to change. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
Maybe you need to take some time to focus 100% on yourself and your personal growth and progression, before you can successfully achieve progression in this (or any) relationship…
Post # 3
Without knowing any other details, I’d advise you to go your separate ways. Life is too short to spend time feeling anxious and depressed and always wondering what the situation is. Find someone who you are sure about and who feels sure about you, too!
Post # 4
You separated to try to improve things, and things still aren’t improving. I think that means it’s time to move on and focus on growing as an individual.
Post # 5
I think your gut is speaking pretty clearly that this isnt the relationship for you. It shouldnt be this hard. Time to let it go.
Post # 6
kayla037: A good relationship is one in which you are your best self. Sounds as if this might be a good time for you to spend some time with yourself, grow as an individual, be certain of who you are. Then you can be a strong partner. You are well on your way – recognizing the imbalance in your current relationship speaks well of your self awareness. Best wishes to you! 🙂
Post # 7
It doesn’t have to be this hard.
Go your separate ways, find yourself some help for your issues, be single, and try again with someone else. This is coming from someone who was once in a similar situation (though the roles were reversed).
Post # 8
Move on. He has no intentions of moving forward. You are anxious and insecure because your relationship isn’t stable. I would bet you $10 that he told you that you were too dependant on him for things and that he suggested the move out. Life is calling… RUN before you miss the call!
Post # 9
kayla037: I agree with you that after 6 months of not being together you guys should be clear on what you want. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound good for you. I think you’re wasting time with him. You can love someone and have them not be a good fit for you (been there, done that).
Take this time to focus on yourself and enjoy being single. I know it’s hard when everyone else around you is coupled up. Relationships should not be this hard.
Post # 10
You were together for four years. You seperated because things weren’t working. They’re still not working. Time to part ways. Good luck OP.
Post # 11
kayla037: I’m new here! I will tell you this once. Get out on your own. If you are passionate about what you are doing pursue it. Being alone will teach you a lot about yourself and give you the confidence you need at being successful about your life. You have to love yourself first before you can give love. You need to do this to gain self esteem and be your true authentic self. You cannot give to someone what you don’t have. So go and get your own life and do not depend on anyone but you.