(Closed) Relationship issues

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
47458 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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midwestbee :  Have you seen a therapist? Help is available from communication styles to dealing  with any underlying issues.

Post # 3
Member
4016 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Have you spoken to a therapist about your anger management issues? They can give you techniques to try when you feel your anger escalating. The good thing is that you recognize that you have a problem, now you just need someone to help you deal with it. I would also talk to your fiancé about wanting to get help. He seems very patient, so I’m sure he would support it. 

Post # 4
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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midwestbee :  

How old are you?  Are you irritable towards other people or only your Fi?

I totally agree with the PP’s suggestion about therapy.

Post # 5
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

Seeing a therapist will do wonders. I speak from experience. You may learn the deeper cause of these behaviors and how to manage them without lashing out. 

Post # 7
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

Perhaps just postpone the engagement rather than end relationship while you finish school and seek counseling?

 

Post # 9
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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midwestbee :  Have you tried yoga?  That might help you to calm down on the inside before speaking in times of stress.  

Post # 10
Member
270 posts
Helper bee

Change takes time and it is awesome that you want to work on this.  I can not recommend counselling highly enough, it sounds like you really need to process what the thinking is behind your behaviour and address what that is about before you can achieve long-term permanent change.  

Post # 11
Member
1807 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Any chance you’re mean to him because you’re testing him to see if he’s really going to stick around? I used to do this to my boyfriends after I had one leave me to sleep with my best friend. After that I’d be great to a guy for the first few months, but after that I’d have mean outbursts – and I never knew why. One day my boyfriend said ‘you can be as mean as you want, but I’m not leaving, so you can just stop it!’  Maybe you want to test his breaking point. It’s hard to give you’re heart completely to someone and have your love completely stomped on – so maybe this is your way of being cautious? Scare him off on your terms before he’ll leave you. 

Post # 12
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

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midwestbee :  that already shows your level of commitment AND maturity….you are halfway there by acknowledging your struggles and willingness to work on them. 

Noone can ever be perfect (emotionally or otherwise) and there will always be things that creep in from time to time but getting a good hold of your emotions prior to entering marriage is very much a good sign of things to come as you love your SO and if he’s understanding and supportive, sky is the limit for a happy AND healthy marriage!!

Good luck hun ♡♡

Post # 14
Member
2044 posts
Buzzing bee

It is pretty common to take out stress on a loved one. What kind of job do you work? Are you under a lot of stress?

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