(Closed) Relationship of 3 years ending because of another woman. :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m sorry 🙁 obviously, you know it’s not the other girl’s fault at all.  I know you’re hurting….but you will look back on this and be happy you broke up BEFORE you got married. Can you imagine being married and THEN finding out all this….YIKES.  I know it’s hard to get over a relationship when you were really in love…..however, imagine how great it’s going to be when you do find the right guy and he loves YOU just as much as you love him? 

Good luck to you my dear!

Post # 19
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Good Lord. What an utter and complete douche. I know you don’t want to hear it now, but trust me… you dodged a bullet.

It’s not this chick’s fault, but I can imagine why she wouldn’t exactly be your favorite person right now.

This guy has issues. He has a crush on some chick (and let’s face it, it is a crush since they never had any kind of real relationship) he barely knows anymore, and he sits crying in the parking lot of her wedding? He wishes you were her? What????? This guy does not live in reality, and this is so ridiculous that I think he needs his head examined (seriously).

This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read on here. He takes the cake.

You’re better off without him, darling. Don’t spend time getting mad at her – he created this dream girl. She couldn’t even live up to his fantasy version of her!

Post # 20
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

I’m so sorry you’re going throught this! Just know that you deserve someone who is completely head over heels in love with you! 

Post # 21
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

His obsession with this girl is beyond creepy. And the fact that he sought her out and tried to get with her after he was already in a serious relationship with you, means that he clearly had no respect for you or any thought as to how you would feel.

For him to be so incapable of moving on with some crush he had in his teens points to him having some serious issues that require professional help… and there is nothing you can do to help him. The obsession is probably just a manifestation of a much deeper issue. Don’t blame A, this has nothing to do with her. He has built up an elaborate fantasy with a fictional version of her as its centre, and she can’t be blamed for that.

One day, you will look back on this and be so incredibly relieved that you got out of this trainwreck of a relationship.

Post # 22
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@Melibear:  Had they dated things might be different but for him to tell me that this girl is the love of his life when they’d never even had a relationship was a slap in the face.

This is probably a valuable lesson for you; NEVER get involved with a man who’s not over his ex or is hung up on a woman from his past. It doesn’t end well (trust me, I’ve been there).

Post # 24
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this.

When you find the man who is crazy head over heels for you, you will know you dodged a bullet. You will experience what it feels like to have everything you never had from ladouchebag and you’ll realize it never would have worked out with him anyway. ((hugs)) 

Post # 25
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You can’t blame yourself and you can’t blame her.

 

The more I read, the more I was just scared for you.  This guy obviously has some mental illness issues and needs some counseling.  I would not be surprised if he tries to contact you, but please keep your distance.  If he was able to believe you were a figment of this other woman for so long in his own mind, there’s no surprise that he was able to make you feel anything but the love of his life.  He’s manipulative and crazy, a very dangerous combo.

Post # 26
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What an idiot… Reality never compares favorably to a fantasy, and if he was an adult he would know that. You don’t need that emotional immaturity in your life. Sending big internet hugs

Post # 28
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@Melibear:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I wish I could give you a hug.

Post # 29
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Melibear:  Im so sorry this is happening.

 

 

 

But this guy has some serious emotional issues if he is so hung up on an unrequited crush from jr high and is driving drunk to stalk a bride at her reception. 

 

Hes not the love of your life. You will realize that when you meet your husband and you will thank your lucky stars that you didnt marry this turd. 

 

Post # 31
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@Melibear:  The more I hear other people say that he needs professional help, the more and more I wish I’d pushed him to go.

 

It wouldn’t have helped. He needs to come to that realisation by himself. Therapy doesn’t work if the person doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with him/her (which is, for example, why it has not proved possible to cure psychopaths).

 

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