Post # 17
I’m sorry 🙁 obviously, you know it’s not the other girl’s fault at all. I know you’re hurting….but you will look back on this and be happy you broke up BEFORE you got married. Can you imagine being married and THEN finding out all this….YIKES. I know it’s hard to get over a relationship when you were really in love…..however, imagine how great it’s going to be when you do find the right guy and he loves YOU just as much as you love him?
Good luck to you my dear!
Post # 18
I’m trying to tell myself that, but its really hard to. I just wish I had the foresight to see where this was headed and end things after our first fight about A.
I did, at one point, suggest counseling to help him get over her, but he said he was okay.
True. Had they dated things might be different but for him to tell me that this girl is the love of his life when they’d never even had a relationship was a slap in the face.
Thank you for also understanding where I was coming from with my feelings towards A. I don’t think I could get back with my Ex, even though I still feel like I love him. He hurt me too much, and I think I would always feel like I would never be as good as A, just his runner’s up prize.
Post # 19
Good Lord. What an utter and complete douche. I know you don’t want to hear it now, but trust me… you dodged a bullet.
It’s not this chick’s fault, but I can imagine why she wouldn’t exactly be your favorite person right now.
This guy has issues. He has a crush on some chick (and let’s face it, it is a crush since they never had any kind of real relationship) he barely knows anymore, and he sits crying in the parking lot of her wedding? He wishes you were her? What????? This guy does not live in reality, and this is so ridiculous that I think he needs his head examined (seriously).
This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read on here. He takes the cake.
You’re better off without him, darling. Don’t spend time getting mad at her – he created this dream girl. She couldn’t even live up to his fantasy version of her!
Post # 20
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
I’m so sorry you’re going throught this! Just know that you deserve someone who is completely head over heels in love with you!
Post # 21
His obsession with this girl is beyond creepy. And the fact that he sought her out and tried to get with her after he was already in a serious relationship with you, means that he clearly had no respect for you or any thought as to how you would feel.
For him to be so incapable of moving on with some crush he had in his teens points to him having some serious issues that require professional help… and there is nothing you can do to help him. The obsession is probably just a manifestation of a much deeper issue. Don’t blame A, this has nothing to do with her. He has built up an elaborate fantasy with a fictional version of her as its centre, and she can’t be blamed for that.
One day, you will look back on this and be so incredibly relieved that you got out of this trainwreck of a relationship.
Post # 22
@Melibear: Had they dated things might be different but for him to tell me that this girl is the love of his life when they’d never even had a relationship was a slap in the face.
This is probably a valuable lesson for you; NEVER get involved with a man who’s not over his ex or is hung up on a woman from his past. It doesn’t end well (trust me, I’ve been there).
Post # 23
Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be, but I never thought I would be this petty, and it fustrates me. You know, when you think you’re pretty mature and then something like this comes in and reminds you that you’ve got got some growing up to do.
I agree. He needs therapy.
No, I wouldn’t want to be with a guy like that, and I know he isn’t the one, but my heart and head have some catching up to do. It is hard when you know the logical things, but you don’t feel very logical.
Yup. I keep telling myself that I should be loved for me and be loved back by the person whom I love. But like I told kes18, the heart and head are at war right now.
Post # 24
I am so sorry you are going through this.
When you find the man who is crazy head over heels for you, you will know you dodged a bullet. You will experience what it feels like to have everything you never had from ladouchebag and you’ll realize it never would have worked out with him anyway. ((hugs))
Post # 25
You can’t blame yourself and you can’t blame her.
The more I read, the more I was just scared for you. This guy obviously has some mental illness issues and needs some counseling. I would not be surprised if he tries to contact you, but please keep your distance. If he was able to believe you were a figment of this other woman for so long in his own mind, there’s no surprise that he was able to make you feel anything but the love of his life. He’s manipulative and crazy, a very dangerous combo.
Post # 26
What an idiot… Reality never compares favorably to a fantasy, and if he was an adult he would know that. You don’t need that emotional immaturity in your life. Sending big internet hugs
Post # 27
The more I hear other people say that he needs professional help, the more and more I wish I’d pushed him to go. I should have realized that something was really really wrong.
And yeah, I don’t think I could date someone again who is still hung up on another girl.
Post # 28
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could give you a hug.
Post # 30
This scares me. Should I be really worried? Should we not go over to the house tomorrow to get my stuff? He was never physically violent to me, but I do agree that he was/is very manipulative. I can see that now.
Big hugs back.
Post # 29
@Melibear: Im so sorry this is happening.
But this guy has some serious emotional issues if he is so hung up on an unrequited crush from jr high and is driving drunk to stalk a bride at her reception.
Hes not the love of your life. You will realize that when you meet your husband and you will thank your lucky stars that you didnt marry this turd.
Post # 31
@Melibear: The more I hear other people say that he needs professional help, the more and more I wish I’d pushed him to go.
It wouldn’t have helped. He needs to come to that realisation by himself. Therapy doesn’t work if the person doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with him/her (which is, for example, why it has not proved possible to cure psychopaths).