(Closed) Relationship Question – How to deal with socially awkward friend. . .

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds like she is doing well as it is. It won’t be surprising if it takes her until later in life to find just the right guy to settle down with (if that’s what she even wants). Because she’s introverted, she probably has a higher tolerance of alone time before she feels loneliness, so don’t feel pity for her if it seems like too much alone time for you. She might be perfectly content with the pace of her social life.

I believe there are social anxiety forums and such that she could join, if she’s interested in hanging out or connecting with other people who are highly introverted.

I think it would be nice, once you’re married, to still spend time with her at about the frequency you do now. Invite her sometimes to hang out just with you, and sometimes with your husband too. Just don’t make her feel like a third wheel. Don’t feel awkward about her not having a husband alongside her, and then she won’t either.

Glad you have such a kindhearted friend. I have a few (I can count them on one hand) myself. They’re more than worth their weight in gold, don’t you find? Defintely worth making the extra effort for.

 

Post # 4
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m extremely socially awkward! =) I have very few friends and I like it that way. I hate socializing. I hate talking to new people. I just..hate it. Sure, there are times that I feel that I’m missing out, but I’m lucky enough to have an amazing husband. And I’m really close to the rest of my family. Honestly, if I had to choose between going out with friends for a “fun” night or hanging at home with my hubby, my hubby will win every single time. I LOVE having time alone, and it really does take a lot to make me feel lonely. So she’s probably not as sad as you think she is!

However, I have been trying to reach out more. I have social anxiety and I’m afraid to call people, go to places like restaurants and grocery stores alone, go to the bank, etc. I’m pushing myself to do these things more often and it’s helping. But, I have a friend who thinks we need to meet some more people and he’s tried inviting us to meet them. However, as a psychology major, he understands what a struggle it is for me so he’s stopped pushing it, lol. Basically, let her go at her own pace. If she’s anything like me, meeting new people is extremely scary and not fun at all. It’s completely exhausting. 

Post # 5
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

And by the way, if your friend wants someone to talk to, message me. I wrote a post about my social anxiety a couple months ago and a fellow bee took the time to message me and it really helped me to talk to her =)

Post # 6
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have her look into any MeetUp groups in your area. http://www.meetup.com/

A lot of people join the various groups looking for romance, but most people are there to share a hobby or interest, and sometimes romance happens along the way.  If not romance, then at least social interaction and new friends. Most of the interaction is in person, not online; you plan your event online and then go do it.  I’ve never seen a meetup event that wasn’t in a public place (museum, bar, restaurant, record store, park, etc) although I’m sure some happen— but from a personal safety perspective, public places are very good.  There are groups for everything from knitting to roller derby, tons of sports teams (go to the game, watch the game together in a bar), groups that go see plays or bands together, just tons of stuff.  Really good way to expand the social circle.  Meeting new people is a lot less intimidating when you already have a strong common interest, and are there to enjoy your common interest together.

If there’s not a group to your interest in your area, then start one. It’s easy and free.

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