- 7 years ago
My SO and I have been together for close to three years, and living together for almost 2. Lately, both of us seem to be feeling a bit …eh… about things, and I was hoping some kind bees could weigh in with stories or advice…
To give some background, My SO is not the person who I would have imagined myself with. We are very different in terms of some of our personal philosophies and political beliefs. But, I love him, and I love that we can have these different life views and still talk it out and agree to disagree. He makes me feel protected and secure and loved, and I hope (and believe) that I do the same for him. I am an independent person, and have always been determined, but my life feels better with him in it.
We both work stressful jobs, though they are stressful for very different reasons. Mine is stressful because I work in a very small office with a perfectionist boss, in an academic/clinical field, where I feel that there is a lot of pressure on me to constantly get everything right and be smarter than I actually am. His is stressful in a much more tangible way, in that he is a commercial pilot and cannot make mistakes. I am unhappy in my job, and that has an impact on my mood. He just got upgraded to a captain position and is adjusting to more responsibility and stress at work.
Also, I hurt my jaw in June, and since then have been on a never-ending adventure to try and get it fixed, with the only result being that I have spent a couple of thousand dollars on things that do not work, and still can only open my jaw two-fingers wide. My poor love is sick to death of hearing about it, and I don’t blame him, but I’m stuck with the stupid thing and it’s not getting better!
I have struggled for a long time with clinical depression and social anxiety, and take medication to help with this. Mood-wise I am fairly well controlled at the moment, but the medication has a significant impact on my sex drive. I seem to be stuck in a cycle where I don’t really feel like sex, but then feel bad for not wanting it, and worried that my SO feels unwanted, and then I just become preoccupied about it and it gets even worse. He has also mentioned in the past feeling bad because I don’t seem to enjoy sex, and he thought it was his fault.
I am worried about discontinuing my meds, because we both acknowledge that I am in a much better headspace when I am taking them, but i don’t want to be taking them forever!
We are both home-bodies, but lately everything seems so routine and we are both bored and restless. I work long hours, and we don’t really have any friends to hang out with in our city. I feel bored with myself, to the point that I’m not really doing any of the things that I used to enjoy (like working on my blog, which used to be a passion, or cooking, which I love).
One of the best aspects of our relationship is that we can talk these things out, and last night my SO commented that, “sometimes it feels like we went straight to being an old married couple and missed out on the fun stuff in between.”
Bees, any ideas how to kick the rut, and snap out of the fug?