(Closed) Relationship with DH’s SIL… thoughts, please?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think if you want to meet up with her for lunch then you should.  Just because DH doesn’t have a significant relationship with his brother and SIL doesn’t mean you can’t unless DH has a valid reason.  I think you have the right to determine for yourself if she’s flaky.

Also – I realized recently that I don’t have to have the same relationship with my in laws as my husband does.  My husband is ok with going long periods of time without speaking but I like something more than that.  For example, his neice moved away and I’ve been taking his queue so we haven’t spoken to her in months but after talking to him about it I realized I can call her myself if I want to!  And then you know what?  The day that I set up the skype date he rushed home from work so he could be on the call as well. 

ETA: In my situation though DH just doesn’t think about it.  But I also don’t try to force him to have any more relationship then he wants to have.

Post # 4
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you should meet up with her if you want to.

Post # 5
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What have you got to loose? It’s just lunch. And in the process you could be gaining a whole new relationship with some family members. I say go. Your DH is just hurt.

Post # 6
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@oracle: There is nothing wrong with Lunch, I say see what she has to say


Post # 7
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Tell him  you would like to meet them for lunch. If he is not ok with it at all then I would find out why. Obviously I wouldn’t go behind his back, but maybe he thinks you expect him to attend as well. Make sure he knows it would be a ladies luncheon.

Post # 8
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@Cheesy Potatoes:

I agree with this. You can’t know if you want a relationship with her if you don’t meet with her.

Post # 9
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Generally I think each partner should decide how to deal with their side of the family, but I think getting to know your SIL might be a good idea. I wouldn’t try to hide it in any way from your DH though, and definitely let him know beforehand.

Post # 10
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Meet up… but let your DH know you want to ahead of time so there are no surprises. Yes, he may not like her but I’d give her a chance if it seemed she wanted to get to know you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

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