(Closed) Relative being HORRIBLE

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hey dear,

Hate to be nosey, but can you give us any more info? I could go so many different ways with this depending on the situation. What is she saying (in general terms, not specifics since you may want to be anonymous)? Do you have any idea what might be behind it? Sorry for your stress. Hugs!!

 

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

what can you do…. either make a big thing about it that will make things uncomfortable for alot of people (as shes a relative) or just let it go, smile nice and wish her the best and how she wishes you the best for your wedding, and if not – take the higher ground

oh, and i wouldnt talk wedding talk in future as i doubt you will feel relaxed and happy after any discussion with her
 

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore. you can’t change ignorant people. Either confront her and be done with it, or cut her off. She sounds toxic to your happiness, and your day should not be marred by her.

Post # 7
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry to hear that! I think anyone with much sense will hear her nasty comments and realize they say a lot more about HER than you. 

Honestly, I think your best ‘revenge’ in this case would be to act as if you barely notice her actions. She is looking for a reaction from you, nothing spoils that more than a “What? Oh, sorry, I’m so immersed in my pre-wedded bliss, I didn’t notice” response. When it comes up try being light and breezy and acting as if you don’t understand why you should care less what she’s saying!

Post # 8
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

definitely take the high road and ignore, ignore, ignore! Don’t let her bring you down!!!

Post # 9
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It sounds like you see this person a lot. Do you mind me asking why you had a falling out?

Since you were somewhat close since was gonna be your Maid/Matron of Honor, I think the best thing you can do is kill her with kindness when you do come together. Otherwise, since her presence obviously makes your blood curdle, try to keep your distance. This is your wedding and you should enjoy the planning stage. Easier said than done, right! Just try to repeat to yourself that you cannot control other peoples actions and as soon as you accept that you will find some peace. I can promise you that when she talks behind your back it doesn’t make her feel good. In fact, i read and believe, that when  you do stuff like that it weighs heavily on you. So I think this person might be in some pain with ya’lls falling out. So if your relationship with her is worth it then you might wanna talk about it, but if it isn’t worth it which is okay, then just keep your distance.

Post # 10
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

*hugs* I would honestly just try to ignore it – no sense in creating extra tension. Just avoid wedding talk, have her as a bridesmaid … and let it be – there is life after wedding … and you might just find that all of this fades away then.

Post # 11
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, so sorry this is happening to you.  Just ignore her and don’t talk wedding plans w/her or any of her ‘cohorts’ anymore. Obviously someone is telling you what she’s saying behind your back…make sure you don’t tell these people very much personal info either, because you can be sure it will get back to her.  Take the high road, you’ll feel SO much better when you’re not part of the drama that she’s creating.

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