Post # 1
My fiance and I have several older relatives (aunts and uncles) who are single – either never married, or divorced and not dating. I’m not talking about great-aunts and great-uncles whose spouses have died, just our parents’ siblings who never married or divorced and don’t date. We also have a handful of younger cousins who are college-age and single. I’m talking enough to fill a table on each side of the family, so they wouldn’t be at a table of single strangers.
I’ve always been a proponent of inviting single guests to bring a companion, especially when they’re traveling or may not know many other people, so our college or long-distance friends who are single will be invited to bring a guest. However, for our single cousins, we will probably not invite them with a plus one (I’m a little afraid of who my cousins would bring, anyway).
My question is this: Is it appropriate to invite my single older relatives with a guest? I am worried about insulting our single aunts and uncles, especially the ones who have never married, and our lifetimes have never even been in a relationship.
Post # 3
I have no idea if I’ve broken any rules of etiquette or not, but when Future Mother-In-Law gave me her side of the family for the invite list – there were a ton of unmarried family folks that she said didn’t need a plus one. We’re talking cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, etc. As you said, they will be seated at a table of family and will all know each other…so I don’t think this is a big deal. I figured that if Future Mother-In-Law said it was OK, then it’s OK!
Post # 4
For us, family and friends are treated equally in terms of +1. If one is single with no attachment whatsoever, then no +1. I don’t want strangers at my wedding and I don’t want them to just bring someone for the heck of it because they’re given the option. Since they’re family, there will be people there they know and can mingle with.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
We’re not doing “random” plus ones except for my nephews (18 & 20, so they’re not completely bored), and my uncle, who has health issues and would be driving up from Florida, mostly likely with a “lady friend” joining him. His sister doesn’t get a plus one. Is it equal-no, but if someone travels 28 hours round trip so my uncle can be at my wedding…they can have a seat at the wedding.
Post # 6
I have an aunt who has been divorced for some time. I don’t live close enough to her to keep track of her love interests – and really don’t care to.
Shortly before I send out my invitations I’m planning to call my aunt and and tell her how much I would love to have her attend attend my wedding. I want the event to be as enjoyable for as possible, so I will ask if she would care to bring another person with her, and if she would please provide the name of the guest she would like to bring. (I will not be writting “& Guest” on invitations, names only).
This way my aunt has the opportunity to decide if she would like to bring her current romantic interest (which, frankly could be awkward for her), if she would prefer to bring a gal-pal (to share the driving, and chat with during the reception) if she would like to attend solo… After all, she knows a good deal of the guests – it’s pretty much a “family only” guest list.
Post # 7
It is never required to extend truly single guests a plus one (unless its some situation like Great Aunt Ethel who can’t go anywhere without her home aid.) It is not necessary to extend +1s to your relatives and I don’t think they would see it as a slight if you did or did not. It just depends on your budget.
Post # 8
I’m not doing “plus ones,” we’re inviting spouses, fiances, and live-in partners. There are two exceptions that my Future Mother-In-Law requested, her boyfriend and her sister’s boyfriend. I would say that if your parents or you have not heard of or met your aunts’ and uncles’ dates, then don’t add a ‘plus one’ it might just make them feel pressured to find a date.
Post # 9
we have a few family members who are older & a ton of friends who are single & we are not giving them a plus one. first of all, i dont want those people to feel like they HAVE to bring a date, especially when they all know other people there. i dont want my future kids to be like mommy whos that? and i have to say its some random girl so and so brought as his date etc. as long as they know people there & are seated with those people, i think its absolutely ok.
Post # 10
Thanks for the input, everyone. I like the idea of calling and getting names, of people whose status I’m not sure of or who might want to bring a travel companion, rather than just adding “and Guest.” All my guests are close family and friends, so I really don’t think it will be awkward.