(Closed) Relatives and Plus Ones?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I have no idea if I’ve broken any rules of etiquette or not, but when Future Mother-In-Law gave me her side of the family for the invite list – there were a ton of unmarried family folks that she said didn’t need a plus one. We’re talking cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, etc. As you said, they will be seated at a table of family and will all know each other…so I don’t think this is a big deal. I figured that if Future Mother-In-Law said it was OK, then it’s OK!

Post # 4
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

For us, family and friends are treated equally in terms of +1. If one is single with no attachment whatsoever, then no +1. I don’t want strangers at my wedding and I don’t want them to just bring someone for the heck of it because they’re given the option. Since they’re family, there will be people there they know and can mingle with.

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We’re not doing “random” plus ones except for my nephews (18 & 20, so they’re not completely bored), and my uncle, who has health issues and would be driving up from Florida, mostly likely with a “lady friend” joining him. His sister doesn’t get a plus one. Is it equal-no, but if someone travels 28 hours round trip so my uncle can be at my wedding…they can have a seat at the wedding.

 

Post # 6
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have an aunt who has been divorced for some time.  I don’t live close enough to her to keep track of her love interests – and really don’t care to.

Shortly before I send out my invitations I’m planning to call my aunt and and tell her how much I would love to have her attend attend my wedding.  I want the event to be as enjoyable for as possible, so I will ask if she would care to bring another person with her, and if she would please provide the name of the guest she would like to bring.  (I will not be writting “& Guest” on invitations, names only). 

This way my aunt has the opportunity to decide if she would like to bring her current romantic interest (which, frankly could be awkward for her), if she would prefer to bring a gal-pal (to share the driving, and chat with during the reception) if she would like to attend solo… After all, she knows a good deal of the guests – it’s pretty much a “family only” guest list.

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It is never required to extend truly single guests a plus one (unless its some situation like Great Aunt Ethel who can’t go anywhere without her home aid.)  It is not necessary to extend +1s to your relatives and I don’t think they would see it as a slight if you did or did not.  It just depends on your budget.

Post # 8
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not doing “plus ones,” we’re inviting spouses, fiances, and live-in partners. There are two exceptions that my Future Mother-In-Law requested, her boyfriend and her sister’s boyfriend. I would say that if your parents or you have not heard of or met your aunts’ and uncles’ dates, then don’t add a ‘plus one’ it might just make them feel pressured to find a date.

Post # 9
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

we have a few family members who are older & a ton of friends who are single & we are not giving them a plus one. first of all, i dont want those people to feel like they HAVE to bring a date, especially when they all know other people there. i dont want my future kids to be like mommy whos that? and i have to say its some random girl so and so brought as his date etc. as long as they know people there & are seated with those people, i think its absolutely ok.

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