(Closed) Relatives on the Honeymoon

posted 10 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

No way. You and Fiance should tell your parents that you will be newlyweds, and no newlywed couple should have houseguests! Do your parents have keys to your house? If not, do NOT hand them over. When your parents tell you who they’ve invited to your house (funny, I always thought only the people actually living there had the right to invite guests!), politely call those people and tell them there’s been a terrible misunderstanding, and you know they wouldn’t want to intrude on you two right after your wedding!

It’s not your responsibility to provide a place for them to stay– stand your ground!

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Wow.  Absolutely no way! should you have guests stay at your house before, during, or after the wedding!  Even if you are not technically going away somewhere, you are on your honeymoon and need to enjoy this time together.  Alone. 

Stand your ground!!!

Post # 5
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I wouldn’t say your are being a bridezilla at ALL! Bridezillas throw temper tantrums in the middle of the nail salon because a bridesmaids toe nails are cotton candy instead of bubble gum pink, not ask to have some time alone with their husband during the traditional "honeymoon" time. I don’t know your family situation, so I can’t really tell you want to do, but I can tell you that you are NOT being unreasonable to ask for your own space! Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

We didn’t go on a honeymoon immediately either, and not only did we have guests, we had my husband’s sister living with us (both prior to and after the wedding) and his parents stayed at our house the week before/during/after the wedding. We gave up the master bedroom and slept on the floor in another room. NOT what I had always imagined as far as what happens after you get married…. but I was too worried about family relations to make a stink, so I just stewed about it…. and am still slightly bitter to this day. 

(his sister still lives with us even now!! AHGH!)

 

 

Post # 7
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Nope.  I can’t believe the relatives would even accept that offer.  The last thing you need to add on top of the stress of having a wedding is the stress of hosting people (even if you want them there, it’s stressful).  I’m sure they understand…and if they don’t, you don’t want them as guests *ever*.  Let mom know in no uncertain terms that it’s out of the question.

Post # 8
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

It is one thing to meet people for lunch, but an entirely different thing to have them stay in your home during your first week as newlyweds!

Do your parents live in the city? Maybe they could stay with them instead. If I were you, I would explain to my parents that even though you are not going away, you and your new husband would like to enjoy some alone time.

Post # 9
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I would really be apalled if my parents asked me to house and entertain guests right after my wedding. I actually have a cousin from Omaha who wanted to stay with us the week of the wedding. I politely explained that during the week of the wedding we will be too busy to entertain and/or check on him and that we plan to leave right afterwards so it would be best if he stayed with other relatives or in a hotel.  I honestly believe it is selfish of anyone to ask you and your new husband to entertain anyone. Although we all know that the wedding is for the family (I’m not sure if it was ever about the bride and groom), the honeymoon is for specifically for the newly married couple. People think that if you are not going out of town, or if you have been together for a while, that you don’t need that time BUT THAT IS SO WRONG! That is your time, and I wouldn’t give it up for ANYONE!  Politely tell your parents that you don’t want to have houseguests, explain why, and you and your fiance enjoy your time in your new home doing what married folks do!

Post # 10
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2007 - The PPG Aquarium at the Pittsburgh Zoo

No. No no no.  You are absolutely not responsible for housing any of your guests.  It was awfully rude of your parents if they made any promises on your behalf, doubly so if they booked people to stay in your house on your wedding night.

 My my father’s mother stayed with my parents the night after they got married.  My mother is still pissed even after 30 years.

Post # 11
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

I’m surprised they even asked.

Post # 12
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Plain and simple. NO! Put your foot down. It’s your house not your parents. You are no longer living under their roof with their rules. It’s simply rude and disrespectful to expect that you will house family members especially after your own wedding. Even though you are not physically going anywhere doesn’t mean you don’t get a honeymoon period.

Post # 13
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Miss BlueBear,

It looks like the Hive has spoken!

Post # 14
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Is it possible for you guys to vacate your apartment, and to stay somewhere else for a day or two?

If my wife’s relatives were in town from overseas and asked to stay with me, I’d feel obliged to let them stay in my place (I’d wish they wouldn’t ask, but once they do… I’d feel obliged).  But I’d probably just get a hotel for 2 nights nearby, so me and the missus could have a little alone time together.

A hotel for 2 nights is a lot of money, but it’s cheaper than putting all the relatives up for a week?  There are some nice B&B’s in Chelsea that aren’t that expensive.  Or maybe I’d take a minimoon up to an Inn in upstate NY (you can take the bus to some of them, and it’s cheaper rates during the week – so you could do the whole thing for $250 or so).

Post # 16
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I would absolutely go with your gut on this one. And if being polite and insistent with your parents doesn’t work, you may want to try the tactic of saying "I think Uncle Vern and Aunt Erma will very embarrassed to hear my husband and I on our wedding night" And if your parents think you should hold off on having sex after your wedding, ask them to reflect on their newlywed time. I’ve always found that asking my mom to think about what she would have wanted when she was getting married/having kids/etc helps give her a new perspective. Good luck!

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