(Closed) relatives’ rude requests? vent!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

@gettingmauid:  I kinda agree.  If someone was paying my way, I would take their conditions (or just decline).

Post # 4
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree. If I were the guests I’d be thankful that someone was paying for my lodging and deal with sharing. Or if I was that upset about it, I’d offer to split the cost so you’re father would still pay the same amount. 

Post # 5
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@heather25: i totally agree with you, if the weren’t happy with the very generous request offered then they should make their own plans for accomodation. 

Post # 6
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Yea, kinda rude of them.. I hate when people make a big deal out of small issues. However, your dad seems pretty generous.. and if he doesn’t have a problem with it..I wouldn’t let it bother me. You have enough things to worry about

Post # 8
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

In the USA, wedding guests are responsible for their own transportation and lodging costs.  Your father’s offer to pay for shared accommodations was more than generous.  The guests should either accept the gracious offer on the terms stated or decline and pay for their own rooms if they don’t want to share.

Post # 9
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

RUDE!  If they don’t like it, they should pay for their own unit, IMO!

Post # 10
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with the other posters – one would expect these relatives to say “Thank you for your generous help with the accommodations.”  However, this doesn’t seem to be your reality – as unfortunate as that may be.

But the agreement to pay for their lodging is between these relatives and your father.  While it is natural and generous of you to want to protect your parents, in this case, it sounds as though you don’t have much of a say in the situation.  These relatives are your father’s family, and it’s his money to spend.  Other than this situation occuring in conjuction with your weding, you aren’t really involved in the agreement. (As far as I can tell from your post.)

It’s unlikely your dad would have offered to foot the bill for their accommodations if he couldn’t comfortably afford to do so.  And as they are his family, he might have had an idea that they would “request” their own units.

So – rant away if it helps you “blow off steam”, but try to limit it to the internet, not real life – they’re still family.  And as hard as it might be, try not to worry too much about the arrangement, let your dad handle this one.  You have enough other things to focus on to plan your upcoming wedding.

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