(Closed) Relatives who live in another state…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Send ANNOUNCEMENTS to out of state family : (4 votes)
    19 %
    Send actual invites to everyone : (14 votes)
    67 %
    Don't send anything to out of state family : (3 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Sorry, I don’t understand. Do you WANT them to come to the wedding? We invited everyone who we wanted to come, regardless of whether we anticipated that they’d be able to make it. Most of the people who we thought would not come actually did. SO don’t invite people who you don’t want there and do invite people who you do want there because they may surprise you and come.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Also, definitely do not include registry information on your invitations. It’s usually seen as impolite.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8361 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Only invite those that you want to come. Regardless of what you think their RSVP will be issuing an invite means that they may come. They might see the wedding as a good opportunity to see the family.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Only invite those you would want there if they decide to come. People can surprise you. You had better be prepared to accommodate every single person you invite.

    Do not include any gift/registry info on invitations or announcements.

    Announcement go out after the wedding and announce that the couple has wed.

    Post # 7
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee

    I think you should send out invitations to all of your relatives. They will like that you thought of them. And even if they don’t come and they do want to send you a gift, don’t make a big deal out of it because they are being polite and congratulating you. Also, one of the weddings I went to, on their invitations (they had a separate piece of paper to their formal invite) they had a website address to their wedding website. If you have a website or anything like that, you can just add a link to your registry list. But, don’t send out registry info on the formal invitation because then it just looks bad. I hope this helps!

    Post # 9
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I would definitely send an invite to all the relatives. Sometimes a relative’s feelings get hurt if they are not invited, even though you haven’t seen the person in 10 years. It is up to them if they chose to send a gift. Do not include your registy on the invitations, but as other bees have said, you can have an insert with your wedding website, which will have your registry information on it. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I wouldn’t send an invite unless you know for sure they wouldn’t come (unless you do want them there).

    You said your cousin sent an announcement, that’s different than an invitation.  You can send announcements to family who are not invited but I don’t think you’re supposed to enclose registry information.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    You’re asking about courtesy invitations I think – people who will not fly, but you want to let them know you’re thinking of them.  Don’t list to the greedy mom and gram who are thinking of gifts.

    Frankly, I’m not into courtesy invitations.  Invite those you really want there.  That’s going to be your guest list.  You don’t want to invite more than your actual venue will seat beacuse you know they aren’t coming.  That can get you in trouble should they eventually come!  It just makes guest counting more cumbersome – guests 1-100 can fly, but guests 101-150 don’t fly, yadda yadda…

    After you are married, if you wanted to do an annoucement to let great aunt Sue know you’re married, you can do that.  Annoucements are not gift soliciting mailings, just FYIs like birth annoucements.

    As the PPs, never mention any registry info on any mailings.  Let people ask you and let the word get spread around if you are registered or saving up for XYZ.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @icetea:  Unless you are a Utah Mormon.  I saw her mention California and Utah and invitations/annoucements interchangably, so this came to mind.  Mormons have their own unique wedding culture.  Then all reception invitations are called wedding annoucements for some reason.  They consist of a photo of the couple (engagement photo) almost always and do not require an RSVP.  People send out like 500 of them.

    So if SoonToBeMrsRiley this is the kind of wedding culture you are familiar with, then this advise usually means for standard US weddings.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Only send invitations to the people you want to actually attend the wedding. i didn’t vote.

    Post # 15
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @SoonToBeMrsRiley:  I’m glad you figured something out! 

    Your mom was a Utah Mormon?  I can see where they are coming from now!

    The topic ‘Relatives who live in another state…’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors