- 5 years ago
I live with my SO and his family. I am 24 and he’s 22 (almost 23). I’ve been living with them for just under a year. It is he, myself, his parents, his grandad, and his 21 year old sister. Let’s call her Sally. He has an older brother who lives with his girlfriend very close by. I love them all and am so very very grateful that they took me in when I felt I couldn’t live with my own family (personality clashes with my step mum, which then caused issues in her and my father’s marriage). Anywho, I have been treated as family from the very beginning, from everyone. They love me and look out for me, give me advice, have driven me to and from work whenever I have needed it, and provided me a warm, loving environment in which to live.
However, lately Sally has been getting out of control. She has two friends who have their claws in very deep. All day, everyday, she drives around one of these friends and her baby. She does not get paid for anything. This friend hasn’t even re-registered her car due to Sally doing everything for her. She babysits, takes them shopping, drives them around for all of the errands they have to do, and helps her with her at-home job. And she gets nothing. Nada. Zip.
Then there’s the other one. Sadly, an alcoholic with a gambling problem. She recently left her job and spiralled. But even before all of this, this friend would demand Sally leave the house at ridiculous hours to keep her company at the pub. They would be out usually until about 3am. If not later. She has abused, used, and been downright horrible to Sally. And yet, she continues to go back.
Sally is a fiercly loyal and loving person. But to the wrong people! She got her licence a month ago. She has been home for only 2 days since then. Sally and my SO’s mother would do everything together. And now, nothing. Sally is constantly struggling financially. Because she gives everything to everyone else. Then she comes home and asks us for money and tells us how exhausted she is. I don’t remember the last time she asked my SO or I how we were doing with college or even how we were in general. But she has the nerve to ask for money. When she already owes us. Everyone is at their wits end. But the moment someone mentions to her that these people could be using her, she’s on the defensive. She gets angry, and storms out.
I’m so very close to cracking it. Today she tried to apply for a hardship payment. If she just slowed down, stayed home for a few days, she would be fine financially. She’s even due to start her second job next week. I couldn’t believe she would even try for a payment like that. That payment is for people who have suffered extreme hardship. Domestic violence, natural disaster, death of a spouse. And she honestly thought she deserved it. Came home and raged about how they only gave her petrol gift cards. Are you kidding me?! Does she not realise that we’re all struggling a little financially? Does she even care? I am constantly frustrated and bitter. And it’s getting worse. I don’t know what to do. I have no place telling her what to do or to pull her head in. But no one else is game to. Everyone is at the point where they don’t care anymore. And ahhhh, I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried not caring. Ignoring it all. I mean, it doesn’t have to bother me. I don’t have to let it get to me. But it does. So very much.
I guess this is just a fairly long vent. My poor SO has had to deal with my frustration. And I’m trying to be so careful, it’s his sister, I don’t want to overstep the boundaries (although, he’s said himself multiple times that she’s acting like a moron).