Religion and IVF-advice?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 31
Member
9445 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
zzar45 :  it’s about controlling women. If prolifers really felt so strongly that life begins at conception they’d focus their efforts on harassing ivf clinics instead of abortion clinics. They create and destroy far more “life” than abortion. 

Post # 32
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
BeepBopB00p :  i think your husband needs some more education of the ivf process.  Perhaps you can meet with someone who has gone through it. 

As a Christian, we struggled with what to do with our embryos, should their be an excess of them. We decided to proceed since we have a pretty severe condition and would be lucy to have any embryos at all. So we knew this would not be something that would affect us. But we considered it anyway. And continue to consider it. 

Have you heard of the GIFT procedure? It’s similar to IVF except it doesn’t create embryos outside of the uterus. There wouldn’t be any embryos frozen, just eggs 

Post # 33
Member
795 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
LilliV :  Exactly! Of course its mostly well to do women at the IVF clinic and mostly poor women seeking abortion. We know how much they love to judge and condemn poor people!

Post # 34
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Gosh, some of the bees here have disgusting attitudes.  Far more arrogant than most religious people I have met.  

OP’s husband is not protesting abortion clinics.  He’s having misgivings regarding a procedure that they personally are looking at potentially going through, because it may not align with his personal beliefs and morality.  Forget about the fact that his morality is influenced by his religion.  Bashing pro-lifers and Christian people on this post is unhelpful, rude and irrelevant. 

OP,  I’m assuming your husband has an issue with not using embryos specifically, not just the eggs.  there are options that ensure none of your embryos will be destroyed or used in research.  As PP have mentioned, you could donate embryos to other couples, or you could fertilise only the amount that you would be willing to implant.  Have a chat to your doctor about options, and perhaps have a look at IVF specific boards online.  Your husband may be comfortable with one of these options. 

 

 

 

 

Post # 36
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

View original reply
obviousanonymous :  She is literally asking for our perspectives on IVF from a religious standpoint, and I gave her mine.  I was just answering her query.

Post # 37
Member
9445 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
lisaeversman :  she clearly wants to try IVF and is trying to find ways of accomodating her husband’s religious beliefs at the same time. Just saying “never gonna happen” isn’t particularly compromising. I also hope you’re never actually put in the position of having to choose whether or not to do IVF. For many women, myself included, “never IVF” flies out the window when faced with the alternative of never having biological children.

OP I will say that if he is 100% dead against IVF even with some of the compromises listed above you need to think through how you will deal with that. Is it a deal breaker for you? Personally the experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and nursing my biological child were incredibly important to me – a husband who didn’t agree to do everything in his power to help that happen would have been a deal breaker for me. Maybe it’s not for you and you can compromise on adoption (either a child or an embryo), but as you are going into this discussion with him it’s something you should be thinking about on your own. 

Post # 38
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
lisaeversman :  I think expressing your opinion is ok but In this post the OP is clearly seeking help with the idea of ivf. Just stating a sentence of an opinion with no explanation of why u feel that way or what you have experienced yourself In your own life…is why I think others have questioned how your comment is helpful. Many many Catholics on the bee has done ivf so I believe that is why your comment may be rubbing a few the wrong way. I myself a protestant and my husband a catholic I wont lie your remark rubbed me the wrong way but I respect you are entitled to your own opinion. I do hope you have not suffered any sort of infertility . If you have not experienced infertility  or dont want child I dont think you can understand what OP is going through so throwing out a one sentence opinion on something you know nothing about isnt helpful. I’m curious how you feel about chemo? That isnt natural? Is that Christian to you? My husband got cancer and the chemo robbed him of his fertility at a young age so our only choice was ivf . Adoption would have been challenging with the cancer background and 3 times more expensive then ivf!!! Anyways I dont mean to start anything with you. Truthfully from your responses I believe you meant no harm and I wont lie…had I not been through what I have…I may have responded just like you. So I dont think you unkind…I am just giving you another prospective and you can certainly take it or leave it.

 

 

Post # 39
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

So we are now pregnant through Ivf.  I am also a Christian.  I just made a post about ppl in my list commenting on what could be summed up as religious objections to anything other than natural conception, so I am in the thick of this.  We struggled with the questionnaire that you have to complete because the lab wants to know your preferences on “extra” embryos.  The only thing I will add is that this is not a final decision.  We were told that we could change our response at a later date.  Our doctor did not agree with our first decision to only fertilize half of the 28 eggs that we started with.  Well, she was right.  The numbers dropped significantly ovwr the 7 day blast cycle.  My heart dropped each time because in oue case this was our only chance.  It went from 28 eggs to 15 embryos and then 11 and then 8.  After we performed PGS testing for chromosomal abnormalities it was 5.  Because not every embryo develops we were nervous, but thankful and blessed that the first one took.  

The ivf process is stressful and very emotional and if I had to give any advice, I would say to make the best decision with the information that you have now and try to understand that you won’t have everything figured out before you start.  You will get clarity as you move forward.  The key is to move forward and not get paralyzed in all of the decisions that you have to make that seem so overwhelming now.

I’m not against wise counsel, but I know that this is a decision that only you two can make because you have to live with the results.  I think that procreation is such a hot button topic so if you ask 5 ppl (pastors or not) you will get 5 different answers amd I’m sure that most biblical scholars can find scriptures to support their position one way or another.  I don’t say this to discourage you.  I’m just saying that this is so personal to both of you that maybe a therapist can help both of you unpack your worries and concerns.

Post # 41
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

NaPro Technology dr obgyn is 100% approved by Catholic church

Post # 42
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
BeepBopB00p :  i am so glad you found a compassionate and understanding doctor. That’s awesome!!! So happy for you. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors