Post # 1
I am a Ghanaian and coming from a christian home you are expected to do things the way you met them before u were even born, nw am hving problems with my mum, to start with i got a ivory wedding dress instead of white, i prefer barrette instead of the crown or tiara, i do not want gloves on my hands etc and now my mum is go bad at me, my wedding is in march bt as it stand i either do one of what she says else, what has religion got to do with modernity after all it my big day. I need advice…. cheers
Post # 3
What part of Christianity dictates the accesories and colors you can wear on your wedding day? I’m confused. What exactly is she upset about and how does she defend herself?
Post # 4
@redheadem: It isn’t Christianity itself as church traditions. When I wore dress pants and no hat or gloves to church one year for Christmas I think my grandmother almost fell over dead.
It seems like her mother wants her to stay modest and stick to tradition in the church, and that includes gloves, a full hair accessory, white dress and traditional music.
My advice to the poster: Either take control of your day or compromise. If you don’t want to say no to everything your mother wants, I suggest perhaps giving in to a bit of her wants for the ceremony and then having the reception COMPLETELY you. There shouldn’t be too many older traditions for a reception that she can be upset about!
Post # 5
Remember, it is YOUR day and it’s the only wedding day you’re ever going to have! Do it your way.
I’m not saying you need to totally ignore your mothers wants but it’s ridiculous of her to try and dictate your wedding attire.
The colour of your dress and the and jewels in your hair have nothing to do with Jesus or God, and the Church traditions have only been a very very recent addition to ‘what is right’ in the way Christians carry out their weddings.
Thing is, you will NEVER please everyone, and I think nearly every bride in the world can tell you that. But as long as you are happy with the way you feel and you’re happy with your relationship with God then by all means, do it your way. No one has the right to question your faith based on the way you wear you hair.
Post # 6
@takemyhand: Thank you, that was what i actually thought of doing. Cheers
Post # 7
Am much grateful for ur advices, it the traditional christian way of saying bcos it ur first marriage you need to be in white, be in gloves etc, but with ur ideas i think there can always be a compromise. thanks guys. Cheers
Post # 8
@buerkie: The tradition of getting married in white is relatively recent and is based on fashion rather than faith. Prior to the Victorian era for the wealthy, and the mid-20th century for many others, your wedding dress was your Sunday best (whatever colour that might be).
Post # 9
Yep, spot on.
I beleive it was Queen Voctoria who wore the first white dress, and then it became super fashionable in the wealthier homes around England.
The poorer/middle classes still wore their Sunday best.
Wearing white was just a status symbol, and somehow it then morphed into a ‘virginal’ colour.