(Closed) Religion vs Personalization… super long!!

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I also grew up Catholic, but I chose not to have a Catholic wedding because I don’t feel connected to the faith anymore. I felt that it would be an insult to those who were true Catholics to have a ceremony and receive a Sacrament that I didn’t really believe in the way they do. I think this issue is more important than the lack of customization options for your ceremony. If you don’t practice the faith, you may want to rethink having a traditional Catholic ceremony.

Post # 4
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance and I are both semi-practicing catholics and his mother is a very devote women… a say the rosey at least twice a week women and goes to confession every Saturday. But even thought we are not currently in tune with our faith could not imagine getting married anywhere else but the church. For me anyone can get married on a beach or in a park, but to get married in the catholic church is not only a bond between my Fiance and I it is a bond with the entire community of catholics that have been married in the eyes of God before us. So I can tollerate the idea of not being able to throw flower petals or come down the aisle to my most favorite song because at the end of the day knowing that my marriage has been sanctioned by the church and my vows have been heard by all of my friends and family is what matters to me most. Most of the time I feel that brides have been swept up by what society says we should do for our wedding. We should do it on a beach, or under a tree. Brides are constantly searching for that next wow factor to awe their guests. I think the day should be reserved for my Fiance and I to focus on us and the lives we have ahead together. So I want ours to be simple and traditional and luckily the Catholic church is just the right place to do so.

Post # 4
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you should talk to your Fiance about how you are feeling! Maybe the two of you can come up with a compromise. I know there’s really no way to have a “catholic” wedding and also a personal wedding, but maybe you can have a religious wedding that takes the parts of religion he feels close to and the personal readings and music that are meaninful to you. It doesn’t have to be secular just because it isn’t in the church.

Post # 5
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If a religious ceremony is not what you want, then perhaps a discussion with Fiance is in order. Some people gravitate toward familiarity because they are not aware of the benefits of other options. I would offer him both, with pros and cons and let him base a decision on that.


Post # 6
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I understand that sometimes a religious ceremony can be completely different than what you wanted. I’m in the same boat, although not that intense.

My Fiance grew up in the Lutheran church we are getting married at. Now, I love this church, and I love the pastor and the people that attend- they have done nothing but open me with open arms. Buttttt…. the rules of getting married there are kinda strict. Now I’m not complaining out loud about it becaue I totally get that it’s a church, but ALL the music we chose has to be sacred… meaning: no walking down to “here comes the bride” “(it even states it in the pamphlet that traditional wedding music is not sacred and is not to be used)

Our photog also cannot take pictures during the ceremony. They are allowed to take one of me walking in from the balcony, and we can restage the “first kiss” for them after the ceremony. Also- no video.


I am dealing with all of this because it is important to my Fiance and his family that we are married there. I am willing to make the sacrifice of these things so that he can have the one thing he’s always dreamed of. But I also know that if I were miserable with the situation- he would change it in a heartbeat. Talk to your Fiance and how you want to make your ceremony about the two of you and not a cookie cutter wedding that other people have had before. Are you able to write your own vows? That’s one way to add some personality.


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