(Closed) Religious differences RUINING my wedding!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 214
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@howtobeawife:  +1

 

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@alligirl78: 
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@solidarity: Then you do that, no one is stopping you. But for some coming to thier child’s satanic wedding and supporting what they feel is wrong doing and will send them and their child to hell is not being a good mother. To them supporting what they believe will doom thier  child to burn in hell is failing them here on earth. 

 

By The Way   “there are PLENTY of Christians who would turn the other cheek, go to their child’s wedding and then pray for them quietly afterward.”   This was completely unnecessary I never said this was not the case. What you seem to be stuck on is thinking one way should be good for everyone, and it is not.  

 

Post # 215
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Generally, I think it’s crazy to refuse to go to someone’s wedding based on religious views. Buuut…. in this case I think because Satan is, in Christian views, the ENEMY of the Christian God, I can see why they would be uncomfortable going to a ceremony that glorifies him. Honestly, I’m really surprised you are comfortable going to Christian ceremonies, unless Satanists don’t see the Christian God as the Enemy of the Dark Lord. 

My boyfriend is agnostic and many of his “side” our atheist. My family is Catholic and my dad wouldn’t consider us “married” unless a priest did it. So to make everyone comfortable I plan to do a civil ceremony without any religious overtones on Saturday and then have the priest marry us on Sunday at mass. If it’s REALLY REALLY important to have your families there, could you maybe do something like that?

Post # 217
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Nona99:  Marriage was around before Christ, don’t worry! People all over the world do it without Christian beliefs all the time. Hindu, Buddhist, etc. Families from all countries, even ones without a Christian majority, get married and raise healthy kids on a regular basis.

Post # 218
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@nellybee:  No dear, that would be YOU stuck in that mentality.

 This was completely unnecessary I never said this was not the case. What you seem to be stuck on is thinking one way should be good for everyone, and it is not.  

And no, it was not unnecessary. Too many “Christians” need to learn love, tolerance and humility. I’m fairly certain your God would understand if I went to my child’s wedding out of love, even if it were of a faith that I was opposed to. The God that I was raised to know would forgive a mother such a terrible “sin”. It’s the rest of you sitting in judgment.

Post # 219
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@alligirl78:  Lmbo, that is truly funny to me. I’m curious to see why it is that you believe am the one stuck in the belief that one way should be good for everyone. When did I say this? I said that I probably would not attend her Wedding. When did I say that others should make the same choice? I don’t believe I ever said whether or not anyone should attend I was simply trying to get others to see why the OP and her FI’s family may be choosing not to attend. Apparently I failed to explain myself clearly. As far as “the rest of you sitting in Judgement” 

 

was this not you? 

“If anything has ever reinforced my disgust with modern Christianity and it’s followers, it is THIS thread. There is NOTHING, NOTHING, NOT A DAMN THING, that would prevent me from listening to my children. There is NOTHING that would prevent me from being present at their weddings, no matter the faith, partner, location or officiant (provided no one is being hurt or we aren’t sacrificing kittens or something). There is NO DAMN WAY I’d put my belief in something that I can’t see, before my children. Ever. I may not agree, but as long as they are happy/healthy, I would never not support my kids in their choices, even if they opposed mine.”

  “I’d rather be a good mother than a Christian who fails their child. if your god doesn’t respect that, then that’s his problem. At least I did my job on Earth. I don’t support anyone who puts anything before their children. There are PLENTY of Christians who would turn the other cheek, go to their child’s wedding and then pray for them quietly afterward. Even still, her parents beliefs didn’t plug their ears from hearing their own daughter out.”

 

I could be wrong but it sounds to me that you are insinuating that the OP’s parents or anyone else that would make that choice are not good parents. 

Some of those statements seem pretty judgemental to me. And putting your belief in something you can’t see? Isn’t that the basis of majority of religions, last I checked no one has seen any God they believe in. Honestly most things people believe in most are things you can’t physically see. 

 

 

 

Anyway I feel that you are attacking and doing what you felt was sooo wrong (refusing to listen), so I’m done talking to you. May “YOUR” god bless you. 

Post # 220
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This thread has become ridiculous and totally off topic. The OP never asked if she was wrong for worshiping Satan or if anyone else was wrong or right for what they believe in.  Regardless of her faith or religion she is ALLOWED to be SAD that her parents will not attend.  If she said her parents didn’t like her Fiance and decided they would not attend, everyone would feel sorry for her.  Unless she’s actually killing kittens and babies, I don’t see how it’s not ok for her to be sad that her mother and father refuse to support her.  It doesn’t seem to be the marriage they support, but rather they’re now taking a stand against her religion, at a time when she needs love and support.  Unless I’m totally ignorant, I didn’t see that the OP mentioned having the wedding in some devil worshiping dungeon instead of a church.

Instead, it’s become an argument about which religion, thoughts, opinions or beliefs are right and which are wrong.  The very thing that makes me happy to not believe at all.

There are a lot of people on here acting like her wedding would be some sort of dark sacrifice that no one wishes to attend, or that her parents supporting her wedding is like they’ve gone to her fucking baptism for the Dark Lord. 

I wonder why it’s ok to still talk to her, to love her, to act like she’s their daughter, but not ok for her to marry.  From what I understand, the wedding will probably be no different than any other except that it won’t have God in the vows. GASP! Mine didn’t either.  I think everyone needs to take a step back and read the original post, and then realize that this wasn’t meant to be a war about religion (we all know that happens enough in this world) and about giving advice.  She doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit for not believing in what you believe in, and neither does anyone else.

Post # 222
Member
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CharlotteBride392:  🙂 I’m glad to hear you’re sticking to your guns. I don’t think you’ll ever regret having the wedding YOU want that feels right and true to you and your FH. I hope you post a recap, because it sounds like it’s going to be wonderful and personal and I’d love to see it!

(Maybe if not here… you could submit to offbeat bride, where jimmies are a little harder to rustle?)

Post # 223
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@nellybee:  I wasn’t the one spouting off about being a good Christian. I was the one spouting off about being a good mother.

Keep your blessings; I’m not the one who’ll need them

Post # 224
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lia22:  +1.

This thread was never about Satanism… she explained it to us because we were confused (and I appreciate her taking the time to explain her beliefs).  This was about her family not coming to her wedding.  That was all she was seeking advice on.

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@CharlotteBride392:  You can flag this and ask for the moderators to close this thread.

To the others involved in this thread: if you want to continue the debate, I’d recommend starting a Spinoff thread about theism. 

Post # 225
Member
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@CharlotteBride392:  I thought long and hard about whether or not to make a final response to this, even so long after the final post here. I suppose I had to say that I think you have made the right choice. It is rare nowadays to find people with strong values and beliefs who stick to them… hypocrisy seems like a huge problem nowadays. Your ceremony should reflect you. Nobody else. I once heard the saying that the ceremony was for the couple and the reception for the friends and family. Wise words! They’ve helped me. I am also sympathetic to your problem, because I had a somewhat similar (although less serious) one.

When I, and others, have assumed things about Satanism, it is based on the fact that there are several different branches, and we may only have knowledge about one or two of them. For example. PP who talks about “selfishness” and “the nature of man” is referring to the beliefs of members of the American Church of Satan. As the Church of Satan are not theists, you are fairly obviously not associated with them. I was thinking of the medieval philosophical tradition from which much of Satanism springs, which is based upon a stereotyping of Christianity as anti-intellectual, amongst other things. To be honest, I would be very curious to see how you deviate from this historical and intellectual tradition but, as PPs have said, that is really none of my business. This thread was never supposed about that… it was supposed to be about giving advice. Sorry I got sidelined by arguing with other people. I just hated the implication that people were ignorant just because they chose not to attend someone’s ceremony. Like I say in my thread about my similar issue, couples should do what is true for them, and others should decide whether to support that or not. Simples. I know it’s hard not to be sad when people don’t want to be there, but you don’t need a load of miserable po faces there spoiling your day. Better that they don’t go, than that they go and infect your ceremony with their misery and disapproval!

It’ll be a great day no matter what happens. Good luck!

Post # 226
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@alligirl78:  Your open and adamant judgment is as bigoted as those you claim to be disgusted by. 

@CharlotteBride392: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Weddings have a tendency to bring out the best and worst in people. I’m sorry that your experience with both Christianity and your parents has been a judgmental one, and in all fairness I don’t think they speak for the Christian God Himself (I’m not saying you think that, either) For my upcoming wedding, I’m making many concessions in order to accomodate both my family and that of my Fiance. It’s a very fine balance between honoring your ideals and your families, since in truth, weddings are not just all about the bride (and groom). I’m not telling you to kowtow to them, but to consider the possible outcomes.

Is it more important for you to have a Satanist ceremony than to have your family present? 

Post # 227
Member
3073 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@HisIrishPrincess:  Yes, this.

Good god, this thread needs to end. I am amazed (although I shouldn’t be) at how many people in the world lack common sense.

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