@badabing88: I will definitely maintain kindness with my family. I may be upset at their behavior, but I know they do it because they really love me and care for what they believe will happen to my soul.
@LMD: Thanks for your sympathies, my family definitely considers me to be a “searching Christian.” Sadly, when they first suspected that I was having doubts, they completely freaked out, which is why I am afraid to tell them anything further. They have since calmed down, but still bring up religion a lot, which makes me uncomfortable :/ I’m sorry about your FH’s family 🙁
@LadyBlackheart: I feel the same way, I hate having to hide both me and my SO’s true beliefs 🙁 Because I’m not ashamed at all, I just want to maintain a harmonious relationship with my family. It sucks. For now I think I’m going to keep quiet, but if a time arises in the future where I feel it would be best to address the topic (probably when I get married, they will want me to have a religious wedding and while I want a spiritual one, religious is just not happening and they’ll demand an explanation). I dread their disappointment though 🙁 Ugh this is just a bad situation all around. I’ve always hated feeling like my family doesn’t really know me, and if they did, they wouldn’t like me 🙁
@MariContrary: That’s so strange! It seems like in that case being firm about your ceremony was best. I have a feeling I might need to do that with my family when the time comes.
@beachbride1216: My parents’ evangelicalism is sadly a lot of the problem 🙁 And anyone I marry is not going to share their beliefs (they are very strict about what Christianity is, calling yourself a Christian isn’t good enough, which is why to them my guy doesn’t qualify even though he believes in God). And any ceremony I have will not be reigious (Spiritual, but not religious. Maybe that will placate them?). I really hope we can at least reach an understanding so I can still have a relationship with them. Maybe that’s too hopeful though. I am very comfortable with what I believe in, I just know that they won’t be and I hope that despite this it will still be possible to have a good relationship between my birth family and my future family.
@Happy Hopeful Bee: Thank you for your insight. I’m actually hoping for the variation where they feel that I’ve lost my faith and continue to bring up religion, because at least that means that they’ll want to maintain some sort of relationship. I’d have to draw some serious boundaries in that situation, but at least I would know that they still love me and want to be with me. I don’t think that they will outright accept my beliefs, although people can surprise you sometimes. I do want to tell them very badly, I am just not in a good position right now to do so. I will definitely tell them before I get married, they really need to be prepared for a different kind of wedding/marriage for me than they had imagined. Thank you for your prayers.
@AcheneMalefic: It’s really good to know that I’m not the only one in this situation, so thank you (and thank you previous posters) for giving support. My parents have asked the exact same things about men I date. I really hope my parents respond like yours, because at least they still love you and have a relationship with you! Asking for total acceptance and open-mindedness is probably too much, though. You’re right, I won’t be able to change them, and I really am happy. I think I need to realize that as long as I am happy and satisfied with my life and beliefs, I have no need to worry about my parents and their opinions about it. I already avoid religious subjects like the plague with them, which definitely does suck, but it’s better than the alternative. I think I will have to bring up my true beliefs with them when I get married (I’ll defintely have to explain a lot), but other than that I have no desire to talk to them about religion. They will always try to save me, you definitely would understand that, so there’s no point in beating a dead horse. Once is enough for me, and after that they can infer however much they like. I just hope we can maintain a loving sort of relationship.
I guess there’s no easy answer to this question, but thanks again everyone for your support. I’ll have to figure it out as I go along. I will most likely tell them eventually, once I’m actually about to be married, but for now I’ll keep it as it is. I can’t express enough how much your support has helped me though, it is really comforting just to know that others understand and/or are willing to give advice. Thank you.