(Closed) Reliving the wedding while helping plan another…makes me sad =(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@fresitachulita:  ((hugs)). Honestly, I think what’s best for you is to take a step back from helping with her wedding… e.g. politely decline to go on shopping trips with her. If she is your best friend she will understand, won’t she?

Post # 4
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@fresitachulita:  I read your threads to understand this post a bit more. What is your and your DH’s culture that you said clashed in your earlier posts?

Post # 6
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@fresitachulita:  ENVY is a strong word. You don’t envy her, she is your bff, you are suppose to be happy for her. If anything, considering what you experienced in your own wedding, the last thing you want is for other brides to want to experience what you experienced. A little envy is ok but not a strong dose of it. Right?

My wedding was a let down too, people near to me let me down, big time. By them letting me down, resulted in a cascade of events out of my control that annoyed me to no end. I still think about them and it still pisses me off. But I don’t envy other people’s weddings that are going really well. Some of the girls in work are still in the process of planning their wedding and I try to really be helpful to them by giving them advice, unsolicited or not! But I do genuinely want to see other people’s wedding be a success. 

When I read some of the sad stuff that happens with some of the Bees, I really do feel for them. I feel for any sad brides writing about their bad experience post wedding and I really feel for planning brides feeling stressed out. 

Other people’s weddings are a reminder of some of the failure of yours. But your beef is with those people that made your wedding seem like a bad experience for you. Its been a year since, and have you ever told these people how you felt about their behaviour? 

About this ‘envy’ you are feeling, I get the same pang of emotional pain when I see Bees here post about their makeup trials. My makeup and hair and general bridal look was such a big failure on my wedding day. Because people nearest to me ruined it for me. When I see another Bee getting a good makeup trial reminds me of my failed bridal look but I’m equally impressed with theirs. When I see another Bee have a bad makeup trial, I don’t hesitate to tell her so because I don’t want her to fail like mine was a failure.

How about this, list 3 things that you really liked about your wedding?


1) my flower girls looking really good

2) our mothers looking really good

3) our entertainment party piece was a hit



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