Post # 1
Just a mini vent…
My closest friend is getting married soon. I just celebrated my first aniversarry. I’m still kinda hurting over how my wedding turned out, I mean, the only think I don’t regret about it is who I married! So much went wrong,so many people let me down… but I won’t go into that. As soon as I’m finally feeling okay abou thte wedding and starting to be able to look back and remmeber the good and try not think abou the bad…then other weddigns come along and I have to relive it all over.
while helping plan my friends wedding, I am having a hard time truly being happy and excited about it. I see her so stressed out and it just reminds me of the pain and stress I went though and I almost want to grab her, shake her and say “save yourself! Go elope!” =)
I’ve turned uber cynicle about weddings…when I used to love them and it’s reawlly sad. I keep praying that I will heal from everything and move on but it just hasn’t happend yet.
The other day we went into the bridal shop to pick up my friend’s dress and it was the same shop I had found mine…and I saw a girl trying on dresses and she kind of looked like me, and she was wearing the most drop-dead gorgeous gown I have EVER seen..and I literally wanted to break down in tears that my wedding is over, that I didn’t get to feel that way in my gown…I had so many mixed feelings about my gown but int he end was content with hit..just not over the moon….so it was just another moment of feeling crap about myself and something to do with wedding experience.
I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this stuff…at all. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
@fresitachulita: ((hugs)). Honestly, I think what’s best for you is to take a step back from helping with her wedding… e.g. politely decline to go on shopping trips with her. If she is your best friend she will understand, won’t she?
Post # 4
@fresitachulita: I read your threads to understand this post a bit more. What is your and your DH’s culture that you said clashed in your earlier posts?
Post # 5
@PetalFace: long story, I guess in DH’s cutlure it’s taboo to have the mother of the groom stand and wait for anyone at all (the precession), she is supposed to come in last or something and well, this was a catholic wedding, so you can guess that was a problem being that she wanted to trade places with me. Really it was much more than that…my dad didn’t show,my tooth broke, my mom was acting bat shit crazy…..still trying to heal from it all.
My bff’s wedding was last saturday, I got through it…but not without some serious pangs of envy, as she seemd to truly enjoy the whole day.
Post # 6
@fresitachulita: ENVY is a strong word. You don’t envy her, she is your bff, you are suppose to be happy for her. If anything, considering what you experienced in your own wedding, the last thing you want is for other brides to want to experience what you experienced. A little envy is ok but not a strong dose of it. Right?
My wedding was a let down too, people near to me let me down, big time. By them letting me down, resulted in a cascade of events out of my control that annoyed me to no end. I still think about them and it still pisses me off. But I don’t envy other people’s weddings that are going really well. Some of the girls in work are still in the process of planning their wedding and I try to really be helpful to them by giving them advice, unsolicited or not! But I do genuinely want to see other people’s wedding be a success.
When I read some of the sad stuff that happens with some of the Bees, I really do feel for them. I feel for any sad brides writing about their bad experience post wedding and I really feel for planning brides feeling stressed out.
Other people’s weddings are a reminder of some of the failure of yours. But your beef is with those people that made your wedding seem like a bad experience for you. Its been a year since, and have you ever told these people how you felt about their behaviour?
About this ‘envy’ you are feeling, I get the same pang of emotional pain when I see Bees here post about their makeup trials. My makeup and hair and general bridal look was such a big failure on my wedding day. Because people nearest to me ruined it for me. When I see another Bee getting a good makeup trial reminds me of my failed bridal look but I’m equally impressed with theirs. When I see another Bee have a bad makeup trial, I don’t hesitate to tell her so because I don’t want her to fail like mine was a failure.
How about this, list 3 things that you really liked about your wedding?
1) my flower girls looking really good
2) our mothers looking really good
3) our entertainment party piece was a hit
Post # 7
@PetalFace: Thanks, I agree, maybe envy isn’t the right way to put it…more of just a reminder that my day didn’t go quite as well. Obviously I was very happy for her, I even argued with her seamstress a few times to make sure her dress looked perfect, I stayed up until 3 am every night the week of her wedding with her to make sure everything got done…..obvioulsy i wanted her day to be better than mine, I wanted her not to have to go though what I went though….but it still left me a bit emotional and yes it’s sad to think I will be thinkin of my own wedding everytime I attend someone elses….I certainly hope that’s not the case and that I move on.
Have I tried talking to these people? A couple futile attempts towards discussing it with my mother who caused the most amount of conflict and stress. She actually got up and walked away last time I tried to tell her how I felt. My dad was very apologetic about not coming, my my in law wasn’t speaking to any of us for a while after the wedding, once she softened up it was a terrible thought to reopen those wounds for both of us. I udnerstand she was hurt by the way things went, what I had the most trouble understanding is why should couldn’t stiffle her own emotions and spare us the scene of her and her sister sobbing at our reception over things that were not intentionally done to hurt them. (seating and first dance misunderstanding/ issue).
Well, I suppose I can follow suite..what did I like about my wedding?
1) my car was pretty cool, old school mercedes
2) I liked how I looked overall, I felt like we both ooked nice.
3) couldn’t beat our locations…they were truly divine, even though the chruch was being renovvated on the outside.
Thanks for your words.