@grignardreagent: i’m sure i’ll catch flack for this, but here goes:
SO has parents living out of state (on the other side of the country) that own a small business. His mother has a job of her own. His father started having some medical complications and was having trouble running his business. SO came to me and told me he was going to move to help them out and wanted me to go with him.
Now, I had just taken my DREAM job a few months before. Literally perfect. I would have retired in that company, no doubt in my mind, and made phenomenal money doing it. Anytime I thought about leaving it, I would immediately start crying. SO told me that I needed to make a decision within a month so he could plan accordingly. I thought about it for a few weeks and decided that I’d take a chance and go with him, even though I was devastated about having to leave this job. My rationale was that his fathers health was his priority and, having lost my dad at 16, I understood that and wanted to be supportive. I also loved my SO so much and knew he was the one and my very best friend. So I turned in a months notice (and turned down several very nice salary increases not to leave) and off we went.
In the new state, I had to go back to bartending while I looked for new job. It sucked and I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. This career was THAT important to me. I didnt know how i’d ever get over it and started to wonder if i’d done something dumb.
Get this: 2 months after we moved, my old company was bought out and *everyone* was laid off immediately. Everyone.
Now imagine if I had stayed. I would have let the love of my life move away from me so I could keep a job only to get laid off 2 months later and be left with nothing.
We lived there less than a year and moved back when his fathers health impoved. Upon returning, I got a job I dont love as much yet but its a much higher salary and it has afforded us alot of oppertunities. But obviously, I know I did the right thing: his family was SO greatful and loved me from the start for doing something like that for their son and for them, and SO constantly tells me how greatful he is that i gave up so much to help.
I’m not going to tell you how you should or shouldnt handle this situation, because when i was deciding whether or not to move *alot* of people tried to do that with me: “follow YOUR dreams” and “don’t short yourself for him!” You have an in-state option, and if you are good at what you do, you will succeed no matter which school you choose. You have to as yourself if you can see your life without this young man in it. My advice is: go with your gut.