- 1 year ago
My fiance and I are a long distance couple. We are getting married this August, and since I lost my jobs a couple of months ago, we decided it that it was most logical that I move to his city. Well, he was pushing for this well before too, but now I kind of have to cave and move there because of the layoff since we need at least one stable income. Problem is, he lives in a smaller city and my job field is super niche. I have a Master’s degree from a good school, a solid resume, and have been working full-time only 2.5 years, so I feel that it’s too early in my life/career to switch fields or stay at home. I’m super ambitious and while wedding planning has certainly filled my empty days, it’s been almost 3.5 months of job searching in FI’s city and no leads. Every time I’ve visited him, I’ve taken time to network, meet people, coffees, etc. Plus I used to live/work there a couple of years ago, so I already know the people and players. Despite all of that, it’s a really tough job market there right now according to everyone I’ve talked to.
I don’t know what to do :(. We already signed a lease, so now I can’t really back out. I feel like at the rate this is going, I’m not going to get anything in my field until Thanksgiving. We have savings enough that I/he can support me (well, barely, with wedding expenses racking up) through this time, but I can’t shake the feeling that I”m going to waste 6-9 months of my prime working life (I am 28).
I don’t even know how I would change fields, as everything seems to require a degree and at least some work experience in that field – marketing, policy, university administration, HR, etc, anything that would remotely translate to my field (urban planning).
Looking back on it, I feel like I made a really stupid and immature promise last year to Fiance when I said “sure, I’ll move to your city if we have a large wedding” without really understanding how hard it would be and what a hit it would be on my career (he wanted to go to the courthouse or do something really small).
Talking to my family is zero help because all they can think about right now is the wedding and they weren’t raised in a culture where women’s careers are considered anything more than a hobby anyway, so it’s hard for them to relate.
Did anyone else relocate from a large city to a small city for their spouse? How did it affect your career? Did you apply for unemployment? I am currently on it, but I assume it will run out once I move or once my six months are up.
I’m just finding myself getting really depressed and I read all these articles about gender pay equity and women’s careers not keeping pace with mens’ careers and I just feel like such a stereotype, it’s become a depressing spiral because I know that this will have ripple effects on my long term career and financial goals :(.