(Closed) Reluctant Bridesmaid – Shared Experiences?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you have a 'good' reluctant bridesmaid experience?
    Yes, she was in the wedding and everything turned out fine. : (1 votes)
    20 %
    Yes, she was not in the wedding and everything turned out fine. : (1 votes)
    20 %
    No, she was in the wedding and it was stressful/frustrating. : (3 votes)
    60 %
    No, she was not in the wedding and we are not friends anymore. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Well, first of all, i’ve never understood making the wedding parties “even” – if someone is important to you, I think they are worthy of being in the wedding party.

    If you are buying the dresses and don’t have big expectations about a giant expensive shower/bachelorette and are not requiring the girls to get hair/makeup professionally done, I don’t think there’s much else to worry about.

    Post # 5
    2543 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t demand much similar to you. She was half -in and half – out, made my planning stressful, was absolutely fine the day of the wedding, and then ended our friendship immediately after and I’m still jaded about it.

    Hope it works out for you.

    Post # 7
    2543 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Anise:  Yeah it’s really too bad when people act like that, you have enough on your plate without needing to chase people down.

    There is a lot of time but while people say that, time goes very quickly when you’re planning a wedding, especially when you have a wishy washy bm. You have to be able to make decisions and move forward.

    I’m sorry I feel for you, I know how it can drag you down. I know you were being nice by offering her the out but that may have given a mixed message, just be clear that you want her in the wedding and see what she says. I think you might have to be the bigger person here, bc it’s not stressing her out I can guarantee that. It really only affects you.

    Post # 8
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I could tell one of my bridesmaids was reluctant right when I asked her, but it was because she knew she was going to try and get pregnant this year.  She ended up getting pregnant and is due a month after my wedding.  I told her I understood if she wanted to step down.  She did & we are still great friends (I asked my cousin instead & she is very excited).  But I was releived it all worked out fine.

    I’m not sure what you should do, since your friend is so wishy-washy.  I’d maybe give her a date you need to know by to order the dresses & hope that she follows through…

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