(Closed) Remember, this is YOUR day.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I do agree with this. Recently I’ve been researching wedding etiquette and what everyone in the bridal party is supposed to do and the roles they need to play and carry out and I was just shaking my head at some of the stuff they mentioned (I was reading from a website called ourmarriage.com). They may seem like nice suggestions but in reality, things don’t always work that way. Yes I have decided to go with some traditions, but I guarantee you they are going to have my own little twist on them.

Post # 4
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I love this! I certaintly am not the traditional bride and Im doing everything how I want to do it. Im not worried about particulars and etiquette, and how things are supposed to go..i think half the time guests dont even pay attention to things like that

Post # 5
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wish I could do the same. I just sent a text to my fiance that said “I realize that the bridal shower not the wedding are really about me”. Seems like me compromising/giving in to whatever my mom wants. I wanted 200 max and the guest list has 260 on it… URGH. “I don’t think they’ll all show up, but you have to at least invite them”. So what if they do show up? I’m still going to be unique in my own way, but I’m definitely not having things exactly the way I would want.

Anyways… more power to you!

Post # 6
6341 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

We’ve been fortunate in that we haven’t had much pressure to do what other people want us to do, and that when we have experienced pressure, we’re both strong enough to be firm. Examples of this were my Future Mother-In-Law wanting us to get married in a church: I’m an atheist, my OH is agnostic, neither of us has been to church (apart from me going at Xmas; so, once a year, and not for religious reasons) for about 13 years. So we simply said ‘No, we’re having a civil ceremony, and don’t want to discuss this any further’. We also had her asking us to invite one of my OHs great uncles, because we’re inviting his other great uncle. The great uncle we’re inviting we’ve met a few times, and keep in touch with via email and facebook. The other great uncle I have never met, and my OH hasn’t seen him for 15 years, and has never received so much as a card from him. Again, we said ‘No, sorry; end of discussion’. The guest list is one thing we’re being very firm on, as we have very limited numbers (just 50 for the day), and have had to be ruthless; only people we’re very close to have been invited, shot-term partners are being excluded, as are most people’s children, as we’ve never met them. I honestly do not care if I offend someone I don’t even know, I never get why people feel so much pressure to invite people they’ve never met; who cares if they get mad at you, you’ve never met them, so it’s no loss..


Otherwise, we are having an expensive wedding; because it’s what we want. And we discussed the pros and cons at length. But we’re not conforming to all traditions and so on ‘just because’; we’re doing things that are right for us, and that we’re comfortable with. My OH isn’t sure about doing speech, so I might do one instead; I don’t care if eyebrows are raised. My BMs will not be in matching dresses, and the men won’t be in matching suits; again, I don’t care what people think. I’m not doing a bouquet toss or anything similar; etc.

However, our guests are important to us, and while we do see our wedding as our day, we want everyone to enjoy it and have a good time, so with that in mind, our guests did factor into our venue choice (accessibility and so on; disabled access too as we have some disabled guests), as well as our food and drink choices; I never understand people who are all ‘my day my way’, and then pick Chinese food when 80% of their guests don’t like it, because it’s what THEY want; a) loads of food will go to waste and b) your guests will go hungry; I just don’t get it. We’re having a buffet main so people have a choice, and have been careful choosing canapes, buffet choices and so on, so there’s something for everyone. We’re also providing plenty of drinks. And music is really important to us; we’ll be deciding the track list and playing order to make sure everyone has a dance and a good time.


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