(Closed) Remembering dead family members in Programs

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Definitely don’t refer to them as “dead” on the program! I would include the baby though, if it were my child I would think that was very thoughtful. 


Post # 4
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are doing this, honoring my daughter who passed away at 9 months old [she was a preemie].

We will be adding a blurb, something like, “In loving memory of all of our loved ones who could not to be here. You are here in our hearts”.

Post # 5
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@lilbadabing:  Personally, I would definitely include the baby! I think it would be a very sweet gesture for your cousins.

Post # 6
8104 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@lilbadabing:  Please ask the cousin. If she’s not aware of your plan, it could be a horrible shock to see that when she’s prepared for a joyous occasion. If I were in her shoes, I would thank you for the thought but ask you to leave it out. 


Post # 7
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Please ask your cousin first. She could think it’s sweet, or she could be shocked and upset. It’s not a good topic for surprises.

Post # 8
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lilbadabing:  That’s a great idea, and I would definitely include them. We put a thank you to our parents on the back, and under that we put “and to those who are here with us in spirit, we love you so much and know you are watching us today with a smile on your face! NAME”… It sounds better than that ha ha I don’t have the program with me, but you get the idea!

Post # 9
68 posts
Worker bee

Talk to your cousin about it.  And if she would appreciate the acknowledgement, just list the baby’s name under “In Remembrance Of”

Post # 10
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If your cousin is ok with then, then go ahead, but I would choose the wording carefully. Making a point of remembering deceased people can be sad, and also, where do you cut it off? To avoid this, we are doing a memory candle instead, that just says, “In loving memory of those forever in our hearts.” There’s no list specifically of who we are remembering, since really, lots of people we love have passed away over the years, and we don’t want to turn it into a memorial service.

Post # 11
6530 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lilbadabing:  In my wedding programs I put exactly this:


Although we cannot see, we know you are here

Smiling down and watching over us as we say “I Do”

Forever in our hearts, forever in our lives,

is where you’ll stay

We will think of you in silence,

as we say our vows today

We lovingly remember


(NAME) Father of the Bride

(NAME) Godparents of the Bride

(NAME) Grandparents of the Groom

Post # 12
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Don’t make the decision yourself. Ask the baby’s mother. 

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