Post # 1
So, I am having a hard time deciding who to include in my “in Rememberance of” on my wedding programs. Clearly grandparents, my fiance’s mom and aunt.
However, my cousin had a baby that died 30 minutes after he was born. my cousin and i are semi close so I’m wondering if I should include him on my “in rememberance of” list. He’s my cousin’s son and I never really knew him at all since he lived for such a short period of time. But I’m worried that I would hurt her feelings if I didn’t include him.
i realize it’s a personal choice. but what would you do if you were in my situation?
Post # 3
Definitely don’t refer to them as “dead” on the program! I would include the baby though, if it were my child I would think that was very thoughtful.
Post # 4
We are doing this, honoring my daughter who passed away at 9 months old [she was a preemie].
We will be adding a blurb, something like, “In loving memory of all of our loved ones who could not to be here. You are here in our hearts”.
Post # 5
@lilbadabing: Personally, I would definitely include the baby! I think it would be a very sweet gesture for your cousins.
Post # 6
@lilbadabing: Please ask the cousin. If she’s not aware of your plan, it could be a horrible shock to see that when she’s prepared for a joyous occasion. If I were in her shoes, I would thank you for the thought but ask you to leave it out.
Post # 7
Please ask your cousin first. She could think it’s sweet, or she could be shocked and upset. It’s not a good topic for surprises.
Post # 8
@lilbadabing: That’s a great idea, and I would definitely include them. We put a thank you to our parents on the back, and under that we put “and to those who are here with us in spirit, we love you so much and know you are watching us today with a smile on your face! NAME”… It sounds better than that ha ha I don’t have the program with me, but you get the idea!
Post # 9
Talk to your cousin about it. And if she would appreciate the acknowledgement, just list the baby’s name under “In Remembrance Of”
Post # 10
If your cousin is ok with then, then go ahead, but I would choose the wording carefully. Making a point of remembering deceased people can be sad, and also, where do you cut it off? To avoid this, we are doing a memory candle instead, that just says, “In loving memory of those forever in our hearts.” There’s no list specifically of who we are remembering, since really, lots of people we love have passed away over the years, and we don’t want to turn it into a memorial service.
Post # 11
@lilbadabing: In my wedding programs I put exactly this:
Although we cannot see, we know you are here
Smiling down and watching over us as we say “I Do”
Forever in our hearts, forever in our lives,
is where you’ll stay
We will think of you in silence,
as we say our vows today
We lovingly remember
(NAME) Father of the Bride
(NAME) Godparents of the Bride
(NAME) Grandparents of the Groom
Post # 12
Don’t make the decision yourself. Ask the baby’s mother.