- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Hi all –
I haven’t posted here before because I never know what to say, but I’ve been reading the boards for the past few months leading up to my wedding. So, here’s my cononundrum that I’m hoping to get some help on:
I recently got married and am thankful that everything turned out relatively well – sure we had a few snafus (flowers weren’t quite right, coordinators screwed up placement of a few things), but nothing major or anything that the guests noticed. We got great feedback on the wedding – ceremony was beautiful, reception was a blast.
BUT – I feel like I’m in this weird post-wedding blues limbo – I have all these regrets about not savoring the beauty of the moment and all that. Leading up to the wedding I was really afraid of crying during the aisle walking and vows but then the day-of I was so calm and excited that I didn’t get emotional – I don’t have that one “moment” of emotion, and I feel like I did it wrong somehow. I keep thinking maybe it’s because my husband and I have been together for so long (about 8 years) and live together and have always had a happy relationship that it didnt feel momentous because it didn’t feel like a big change? I don’t know, somehow I just can’t get over not being emotional enough or savoring it or having a deep emotional experience.
I think one thing that bugs me/is making it worse is that when I walked into the hall to wait to walk down the aisle I noticed a big screw up by the coordinators and had to tell them, literally minutes before I walked down the aisle, how they needed to fix it during the ceremony because they didn’t understand why it was wrong, and that really took me out of the moment and distracted me during the ceremony. And then I start dwelling on the other silly stuff that went wrong that doesn’t really matter and then I worry that I looked too stressed or something (even though guests tell me I didn’t), or that I didn’t talk to guests enough (we didn’t have time to make the rounds on one side of the room), or that i didn’t thank my bridesmaids enough – ahhh basically just overthinking!
I’ve seen a few other post-wedding blues posts on the boards and brides having similar feelings, but I haven’t seen as much on how to get over the blues, like specific suggestions. So now I’m trying to focus on being positive and savoring the wedding in order to get over the “blues” or regrets – if you’ve gone through something similar, what helped you?
Some things I’m thinking about doing:
– Writing down all my little memories in the blank pages of our guestbook while they’re still somewhat fresh
– Trying to find other newlywed friends in my area (all my friends are single so it’s hard to talk to them)
– Writing personalized thank-you notes to out-of-town guests as a thank-you-for-coming gesture
Am I just overthinking this? Should I just do nothing? I just want to get over the regrets and feel like I did have the moment even though it may not seem like it. I love my husband and we have an amazing relationship and I feel silly that with a great husband and great wedding I’m dwelling on the negative :/
What are ways that you’ve savored your positive wedding memories? What helped you get over regrets or blues?