Post # 1
Its me again..So my DH and I have had issues mainly because of my mother as in my previous post. We have come back together and choose to make our marriage work..We both are big into our church and got married at the church we attned and met at. Since we have choosen to make our marriage work (because thats what the bible states) We are thinking about doing a vow renewal ceremony Sept of 2015. Our wedding date is Sept 24, 2011. Reasons:
1. We have repaired our marriage and want to do this because it means alot to both of us.
2. Our first wedding was all about what my mother wanted. we wanted outside but she told us if it wasnt in our churh and my step dad didnt walk me down the aisle she wasnt paying for it.
3. We want to have more God based christian things in the renewal ceremony.
4. It feels like a new start.
So bees whats your thoughts opinons? I have heard some couples redo them every year, some on big anniversaries?!
THIS TIME THIS CEREMONY WILL BE WHAT WE WANT. NOT WHAT SHE WANTS SHE MAY NOT BE INVITED.
Post # 2
I think you can do them whenever you want!
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s too early. You can do them whenever y’all want to. I would probably wait until 5 years just because I like things in increments of 5, but I’m just weird like that.
Post # 4
A vow renewal is between the two people involved. You can do this privately, whenever you want.
Post # 5
Kacie209: Great! This time will be more sentimental and God based. Last time it was about money to my mom she wanted me to have the big blingy dress and everything. I hardly even remember my wedding day to be hinest.
IzzyBear: HAHA yeah i am like that too but these things have happened and we want to have enough time to plan it and want to do it soon. you ladies are great!!
Post # 6
julies1949: Thank you! we will probably do it where we had our reception but out on their pier overlooking the pond.
Post # 7
I think it makes sense as you are saying you feel like the two of you want to recommit to each other and the marriage. Since you asked for opinions, if you did a big wedding just a few years ago I think it would be kind of weird to do another big wedding type ceremony. For example, I feel like if I watched someone get married in 2011 and attended a party for them, I’m not sure I would want to do it again in 2015 unless it was someone I was really close to. But if having people witness the renewal is important, invite them and see what happens. But I guess I would keep it small or keep it to myself with DH and the pastor.
Post # 8
You can do a private vow renewal between yourself and your husband anytime you want. If you plan to throw a party/reception it’s probably best to wait for a milestone anniversary like 10th or 25th. People will want to celebrate big milestones with you but not the more routine milestones like “fresh start” or “4th anniversary.”
Post # 9
oliviakatherine: If you’re just talking a vow renewal between you and your DH and possibly immediate family then that’s fine – whenever you want.
I wouldn’t have a second wedding this soon. If you want to recommit to each other, personally I think that should be more of a private thing.
I have friends who are doing a re-committment every 5 years, just them and a photographer. I imagine now that they have a child he’ll be involved as well.
Post # 10
Scarlett11: yeah if we would not have been through an almost very close divorce (all because of my mother 6 months ago then we would wait until 10 year. But since we have had a curve ball thrown at us we are talking about having one with maybe 20 ppl there.
Horseradish: If we do this we will have a small intimate ceremony with maybe about 20 of our closest friends and family then have the recepion/party my mother wouldnt let us have. Our reception was the simple cut and dry and my daddy was invovled because my mother wouldnt allow him at my reception. Which i cried almost my whole reception because of that.
Post # 11
MsGinkgo: Yeah it will be a “recommitment” ceremony..we wont have another “big wedding’ until maybe 10 years. Just this time I want my real father involved, as he couldnt be last time because of my controlling mother.
Post # 12
oliviakatherine: In that case, I believe you would be better off waiting a bit and selecting a more significant milestone anniversary to invite your loved ones to celebrate. Life in general doesn’t let you have do-overs when you don’t like how an event or an occasion went. Most people are satisfied with making the best of their memories and situations. Lots of people want new starts in their marriages or have something they wish they’d done differently for their weddings, but they accept that life moves on, and they move on too.
Do a private celebration with your husband and invite those 20 people in another 6 years.
And if for some reason you do a celebration/vow renewal/whatever with some guests now, then drop all thoughts of having yet another “event” for your 10th anniversary, because that is just becoming excessive. You don’t need to have basically three weddings even if they are spread out over time.
Post # 13
Post # 14
We are having a formal vow renewal with wedding elements next year. We eloped when we married and it caused an uproar. It is only our fifth anniversary but my guests are very excited.
I don’t see why you can’t have a vow renewal. I would keep it private since you already had a big wedding.
Post # 15
oliviakatherine: hey. 🙂 i would probably do a more private ceremony–maybe between you, your husband, and with your pastor? it seems like you have 2 reasons for wanting this renewal. 1, obviously because you’ve recommitted yourselves to your marriage (which is great, congratulations). 2, because you’re still upset over your wedding ceremony/reception from before (which is undertandable).
i think though that you might want to wait until your 10th anniversary to do the whole wedding thing over again; i would be confused a bit if one of my friends–even if her first ceremony was a disaster–invited me to a vow renewal/second wedding to the same guy after only 4 years. i think your friends and family would be more apt to celebrate accordingly if you did it at the 10 year mark (especially since you said you are going to do a 20 person ceremony at 4 years, and a bigger one at 10? it’s too much too close).
i say recommit yourselves to god and each other with your pastor, and then focus your energy on protecting and growing this renewed relationship so that you will be stronger than ever at a 10 year ceremony. 🙂