Post # 91
You aren’t understanding what people are saying. Every single poster here has done the math and cannot figure out how it is possible that even though you had several thousand dollars left after expenses each month for the 11 months you received money from that job (9 employed & 2 severance), you still mananged to be completely freaking broke the moment your 2nd month of severance ran out. And you already weren’t paying some of your bills for months.
So you want to blame a bunch of crap on this random guy you dated for several weeks when clearly, major shit was going down loooooong before you hooked up with him. You spent at least $20 000 frivilously, in less than a year. How did your 2 months severance of close to $9000 only last you for two months of expenses???(minus the water bill because you weren’t paying that particular expense). How is it possible that you couldn’t stretch $9000 past 2 months??? It’s crazy. It’s crazy that you got $9000 plopped into your hands two months ago but you’ve got church people and community programs paying your bills for you now. It’s absolutely infuriating
What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing. With. Your. Money??????????
Post # 92
weepingbride2b: I don’t think think Bobbysbride is claiming to be perfect, she’s just claiming that she knows basic math.
Post # 93
weepingbride2b: “I lived above my means and now I have to get this right.”<br /><br /><br />
That’s great, but you aren’t really trying to get it right or taking any suggestions that people are giving you. You want to get it right if it is a certain way that keeps you in the lifestyle you have wrongly become accustomed to.
Post # 94
housebee: No, housebee, she was insulting. Does she have no faults, only then can she say the things that she said. People have all sorts of problems. Some people are overweight. You could say to the overweight woman why don’t you stick to a diet if it’s affecting your relationship with your husband or your health, and some of them still won’t lose the weight. Even though they have been given ALL the tools by doctors, gyms, etc. Do any of you fit that category. I don’t have that problem, but I do have the problem of poor financial planning. Doesn’t mean that I’m unworthy of a relationship or marriage. For those who have problems losing weight, why don’t you wait to marry until you lose the weight. Some of you are trying to help, but I don’t like some of the other nasty comments.
Interchangeable. I have no idea where the money went. I bought kitchen stuff off of QVC, but other than that, no major things except a gel memory foam mattress. The school district does take a good portion of money out for my retirement, other thant that, I seriously don’t know why I don’t have any savings.
And I tried to stay here and work with the owner to complete my lease, but I get nasty comments for that too.
Post # 95
You’re not exactly working with the owner to complete your lease if you’re (1) not paying rent and/or (2) violating the lease by subleasing without landlord approval.
Have you talked to your landlord about subleasing? If you are determined to stay there, you need to talk to them.
If you don’t talk to them and do either (or both) of those two things I listed above, you will get evicted, and possibly taken to small claims court.
Post # 96
weepingbride2b: No one is doubting their own imperfections. What they ARE calling out is the fact that you systematically are making poor life and financial choices, while turning your nose up at perfectly good charity.
ETA: the only insulting thing about this whole thread is you. There are real people with legitimate money issues that have managed to work through them, you just want to make excuses and have someone else bail you out
Post # 97
interchangeable: I was paid every two weeks. My take home pay was $1724 after they took everything out including retirement, my life insurance plans, the fees for the teacher’s union. That leaves $3448 before rent, and $1283 after rent. AZ charges me $31.25 rental tax. My utilities were high for some reason. I use a lot of hot water I guess. Anyhow, there it is. $1283 was what I was left with after the rent was paid.
Again, $1283 when I’m not buying the house is too expensive. I could have rented a house for $800 and saved that $450 a month for a crisis, such as I’m in now. You all have agreed on that.
Correction: That is $2165 left over for the month. I don’t know where the money went.
Post # 98
weepingbride2b: I’m sorry but you keep saying you “lost” your job when from your other post you said you “quit” your job or at the very least put them in a position where they had to fire you because you were going to local groups and complaining about them! From what you say that wasn’t a permanent position but a one year contract. So, in effect, you began living beyond your means at your current residence with no plan of action for what to do after your one year contract was up and then you claimed harassment at your contract job, effectively blanking out the only job you have besides an internship in your field as a reference. This is why you’re not getting work now. All your prospective employers have to do is call the job you quit. You need to get whatever job you can now and start over. You know, I felt sympathy at your post about your fiance leaving you initially but now the bigger picture is becoming clear. He was another intended victim who you thought you’d fall back on if you lost the one year contract job but he didn’t let you use him. This whole grouping of posts makes me so sad. You must be pretty unhappy inside to exploit people this way. Anyway, I’ll say nothing more.
Post # 99
weepingbride2b: Her post states facts: you do not have custody of your child, you do not have savings, and your Fiance left you. She then questions if you have an addiction that has led you to make these poor decisions. Do you find the reality of your life to be insulting? Sure no one is perfect, but most people don’t end up almost homeless after choosing to quit their jobs. I personally don’t have issues with my health/weight, so I can’t answer the question you’ve presented. If you don’t like nasty comments, I would recommend that you leave the internet for advice and seek professional treatment.
Post # 100
You’re getting nasty comments about that because everyone has told you for weeks now that you cannot afford that house. You couldn’t afford that house when you were actually employed and you certainly can’t afford it now. Every minute you stay there puts you further in the hole.
But you’ve been bound and determined to find someway – any way – that you can stay in the house you know you cannot afford. Just like not wanting to give up on the idea that you *FI* should’ve let you live in his house for free, you will not give up on the idea that you can stay in that house.
You. cannot. afford. that. damn. house. And furthermore, you. never. could.
Let it go already. Jesus. Put a few good days of energy into finding a room to rent somewhere for the next 6 months and finding storage for the stuff you’ll keep.
You don’t seem to grasp the seriousnes of your situation. You actually said you’re in less-crisis because you have a job now. No. You are in crisis mode and will be in crisis mode for sometime to come because you are one paycheque way from being on the street with nowhere to go. Until you have money stashed to keep a roof over your head for a few months, you are on the verge of complete catasrophe.
And you seem to think you can emerge from this state with little-to-no discomfort or sacrifice on your part. *Hmmm. Maybe the church people (who exist on one third of my old salary) can pay for me to flush my shit down the toilet in my very expensive, multi-bedroom house. There must be some way I can stay here and not have to move somewhere les ssavory. Less savory is for those poor church folk who are paying for me to flush my own shit.*
There’s all kinds of people doing without and going without in order to put money in those coffers that you so eagerly partake of. What are you doing? What discomfort and sacrifice are you enduring to get your self together?
You make me think of that person in church who takes money out of the collection plate when it comes around. Cuz you definitely aren’t putting it in, amirite?
Post # 101
weepingbride2b: People are just pointing out some of the things you’ve been saying don’t add up, not claiming to be perfect or free of any and all mistakes. I don’t think they are doing it to be nasty, They are trying to extract the real story so they can help and offer advice — tell you what you NEED to hear even if it’s not immediately pleasant.
Also, other people having problems/make poor choices such as being overweight (which is not at all the same as making choices that result in you leeching off others, but i digress) does NOT make it ok or any less bad to make bad choices in YOUR life. If you have held that mentality in your adult life, then it’s not at all surprising you are in this position.
Post # 102
Songstress_7: Songstress, yes, I quit. But, it was do to a hostile work environment. I was being yelled at. My employer agreed in writing to a neutral reference, or I was going to sue them. So, when a potential employer calls, they are directed to one person that has to give a neutral reference. So, I don’t see why that would be holding me back from getting more jobs in my field. The reason that I leave that particular school district on is for the experience. Without adding it, I only have my internship experience.
I am not intentionally exploiting anyone. As far as my fiance goes, as I said, we could have helped each other. I was not trying to use him. I fully expected to get another job before my circumstances came to this. I wanted to stay here until my lease is up. That should be evident to everyone on here since I am still in this house without running water. With my ex-fiances circumstances that include not having enough food to eat, running out of gas money for work, he should be renting out rooms in his house anyway. It wasn’t going to hurt him to help me and he definitely should have helped me, if it was love like he said. Obviously that was a lie. I can bring in something. I just got hired at a warehouse and am waiting an open position. My only problem is that it will be tight with what I’m making there trying to pay this $1283 rent. Had my ex-FI helped me, I could have paid him some money for the room. So at leaset he would have had gas money to get to work, so Songstress, I’m not putting a lot of stock into your post.
Post # 103
weepingbride2b: You got engaged after knowing each other for four month…what were you expecting?
A neutral reference is not a good reference and companies looking to hire you can tell the difference.
lol well that’s a shocker cause you haven’t been putting a lot of stock into anyone here’s posts so why start with mine?
I guess I did end up saying something more. Oh well 🙂
Post # 104
You keep focusing on all the wrong points here OP.
You need to focus on the fact that you cannot afford where you’re living and that you need to find somewhere else, while paying off the back rent and utilities you owe so you aren’t taken to court. Everyone here is trying to make you realize the gravity of your situation, when you keep going back to points like “I wasn’t trying to use my Fiance, I thought we could help each other” and “I get neutral references from my last job so I’m keeping it on my resume”.
Focus on what’s important right now – food, water, and shelter.
Post # 105
You’re being so ridiculous in your need to be right that you aren’t even grasping how often you contradict yourself. You want to honor your lease. so bad. It’s super importtant to honor your lease. Except you’d have ditched out on your lease in a split. fucking. second. at the end of April if your *FI* had let you move into his house. Right? Yep. You’d have totally crapped all over your lease if only he had done the right thing and made it possible for you to skip out on yor lease by letting you rent a room at his place.
But, that didn’t happen. And you are just absolutely resistant to not honoring your lease to rent a room somewhere other than his house. It’s super important to you that you honor this lease. Unless you can rent a room at your FI’s house. That’s a room rental worthy of dishonoring your lease for.
Do you not hear yourself? You’ll happily break your lease (and would have already) to move in with your Fiance but you really don’t want to break it to move anywhere else?