Post # 1
My friend and I are getting married within a few months of each-other and we’re part of the same social groups–a lot of people at her wedding will be at mine.
We talked about our wedding months ago and I mentioned how excited we were to have a food truck at our wedding and that there’d be a beer tasting, ping-pong, and bocce ball, maybe a pinata.
Anyway, so her wedding is coming up and it’s a traditional wedding in a church followed by dinner and dancing at a hotel. Great, sounds fun. Then today, I get an email inviting me to a morning after celebration which tells me they are having the In ‘N Out Truck, “lots of beer to try,” ping pong, bocce ball…you get my drift.
Deep breath. Starting the mantra: “My wedding is not a competition. I am not the center of the universe. My wedding is not a competition…”
And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that everyone will show up at my wedding and think just think it’s a riff off her ideas and it upsets me. Sigh. I can’t help but wish that she was doing something a little different for her morning after thing. Help talk me out of the funk, please bees!
Post # 3
eekkksss!!! That’s rough! I know i would find it hard not to get upset… I would totally not tell this girl anything else about your wedding.. she’s obviously jealous of your fabulous wedding plans!!
Post # 4
Um, I’d be pissed.
BUT…surely she’s not inviting everyone to the morning after celebration right?
Bottom line: Your mood translates to your geusts moods. If YOU are happy and glowing and having a blasts, so will your guests! Just focus on getting married to your man, and forget all the drama!!!
Post # 5
No, your wedding is not a competition. But it is your wedding!
I would probably change a few things in my reception to ensure that my party was not identical to my friend’s, but not tell her about any plans anymore… (the devil on my shoulder tells me to tell her about fake ridiculous plans to get back; but that’s not nice, is it?!)
Post # 6
It’s crappy of her to steal your ideas but as long as you have a good time at your wedding, who cares?!?!? I would be miffed but ultimately you can’t control what other people do and you should feel sorry for her that she canot come up with her own ideas. In planning our upcoming wedding I try to remember other weddings I have attended and to be honest, I can’t even remember if we ate at most of the weddings I have been to let alone what we ate or any of the minor details. It is absolutely NOT a competition and if you still want it to be just make the details she stole even cooler than what she had! JK Congratulations and I hope your day is all you hope it will be!
Post # 7
Thanks so much for the support. It’s one of those tired Friday nights…
@MissRosie – I totally know what you mean. Have to accept that it’s what it is and move on.
@eqb – decoy wedding plans…like Tom Jones is my first dance song? Hee!
@ktbrady–so right about the guests moods and my own. pissy now, but at least I can get it out of my system by February 🙂
@MissDonnaAnne–not planning on any more wedding discussions. Oh well. At least I know others would be upset so I don’t feel like I’m being a spoiled brat!
Post # 8
You have every right to be upset. Your “friend” obviously has very little imagination. You are doing the right thing by not discussing your plans any further.
Post # 9
Sounds like she’s the one who thinks it’s a competition – it seems that she heard about your plans, got jealous of the casual fun vibe you were crafting, and decided she’d just have a second reception so she could have it both ways. That is a shame, and I’d be upset too, since I think you’re not crazy in imagining that people will go to your wedding and think “Hey, didn’t we just do this?”
But you’re right that there is nothing you can do but be the better person, express happiness and congratulations to her, and enjoy the holy hell out of your own wedding. It’s yours, it’ll be a ton of fun, just have a blast and don’t think about her.