(Closed) Requesting Leave for a Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know about the specifics but in Colorado where we got married, vendors were very lenient about cancellations for the military.  I hope that someone here can help you with the details!

Post # 4
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Buy wedding insurance. when should he be getting orders. honestly, you may just have to do it when he has time. my friend both her and hubby are active duty, and they had to reschedule 2x do to his deployments. just try to be flexible with dates, because you may have to wait a few junes.

Post # 6
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know how it is for the Navy, but my brother is in the Marines and during his training he was not allowed leave. He is stationed in Hawaii now, and he requested leave in March already for my July wedding (and he was only approved 6 days). It took him a whole month to get approved, and that was even with him pestering them every 2 weeks. If your Fiance wants to request time off, a month in advance in the military is not acceptable. He will need to request leave months in advance, even if they don’t approve it until a month before or less.

My recommendation is to wait until he gets his orders, find out his permanent duty station, and then set a date and requst his time off then. He will more than likely not be approved for time off for a June wedding. There shouldn’t be a need to rush into the wedding. You do not want to be setting dates, telling family, and then have it go by the way-side because your Fiance couldn’t get time off.

Typically between training and the second duty station they can get leave. It may not be as much as you hoped for, but at least you’d be able to have a wedding. Maybe try for something in that time frame?

By the way, tell your Fiance thank you for his service to this country ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@firefly7:  Second this. Check out Travelers.

Post # 10
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not saying this out of disrespect to the military, because I think it’s important, but the military has no respect for civilian affairs.  My brother couldn’t even get leave to be at the birth of his first daughter…and he’s not even deployed, and is in the Navy, not the Army or Marines.  He can never come to Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or anything important in our family.  Just because he has to be at work.  I bet he won’t even be able to make it to my wedding.  So good luck getting married!  You might want to just do a courthouse marriage so you’re married, and then have a celebration on his first leave. 

Post # 11
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Zalea17:  I understand that the June wedding a seamless transition for you, but you need to look at what is a seamless transition for Fiance too. I say that with the most love and respect. It is a good idea to wait until his orders are given, so that was a great choice on your part. You can def. move to where he is once he gets out of training. I kind of agree with peachacid that the military has a funny way of doing things. They don’t really give two shits about what YOU want, and in order to be part of the military family you have to accept that. It is such a difficult thing to be a part of, but he’s becoming a better man for it, and you both will be stronger in the end.

Post # 12
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP that you’ll probably have to wait until he gets to his first actual duty station Frown  I know it sucks, but it’s just one of those things.  As @peachacid mentioned, the military unfortunately doesn’t really care what the leave request is for … at least, the military as a big bumbling bureaucracy doesn’t.  But once he’s settled at his duty station, knows his bosses, and establishes that he’s a squared away sailor, they’re much more likely to help him out a little and grease the wheels to get the leave through.  My Fi is an Army E-6 and we had noooo problem getting his leave set for our wedding months in advance. But that’s because he’s squared away so nobody wanted to screw up his wedding because he has to sit for staff duty or something stupid like that!

Meanwhile, I’m crossing my fingers for you that his command doesn’t turn out to be a bunch of a-holes, and that he doesn’t get deployed right away!!

Post # 14
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is def. possible to have leave approved months in advance. However, he needs to be at his permanent duty station in order to put in a leave request. But yes, once you know request the leave and have Fiance pester them to oblivion every three weeks or so. That may get the ball rolling ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Zalea17:  Honestly, probably within a month his leadership will have figured out whether they think he’s a piece of crap or a good sailor (I have to keep correcting myself after typing “soldier” haha), so he should definitely then be able to be like, “so, about my whole wedding thing … how’s that leave coming along??” Smile

Post # 16
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

The issue with leave that everyone, civilian or military, has to understand is that it doesn’t HAVE to get approved.  Ever.  It often does get changed/revoked/whatever all the time.  This is not because the military as a whole is a huge bunch of jerks who love to see people miss out on important things.  This is because those in the military are protecting American interests, and that MUST ALWAYS come first, bar none.  Always.

With that being said, OP, to be perfectly honest, there really isn’t a way to plan super far ahead with wedding planning in the military.  DH has been in for over a year, and has only taken leave over Christmas stand down.  That wasn’t approved until the last minute.  Often, they have a timeline to put leave it.  It ALL depends on his command.  Some do it one way, and some do it another way.  Some allow you to put in a leave request a month in advance.  DH’s is 2 weeks.  So, it really depends.

If you’re going to wait to be married until he gets orders, be aware that you will not be on those orders.  So, wherever he goes he will go unaccompanied, and while you are free to move there, he will not be authorized to live in anything but single sailor housing.  I think you have to be an E-5 to move off base as a single guy… but I’m not sure.  And, if he goes overseas, you won’t be able to go without command sponsorship at all.  However, if he is stateside, that really won’t be an issue since you’re obviously free to move anywhere in the country you like.  But, the Navy won’t pay to move your belongings, only his.  Just be aware of that!

If that’s not an issue, wait to marry until he’s settled at a duty station and has an idea of the deployment schedule.  Otherwise, honestly, I would get legally married now.

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