Post # 1
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
I’m getting engaged by years end (i think). I only ask for 2 things – that the proposal is photographed and that my bf says a few heartfelt words before (he never says anything emotional so this might be my only chance to hear it lol. And my love language is words of affirmation). Bf shot down the picture taking, saying we could reenact it for the engagement photos. But I want a genuine photo of the actual moment! I know I should just be happy he’s proposing, and I really am. I just think it would be even better if those two things were included. Am I just being an unreasonable brat?
Post # 3
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I think that’s unreasonable…because it means a private moment would be shared with someone else. The important thing is that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, not that you get to look at a picture.
Also, you shouldn’t expect someone who is not usually emotional to change.
Post # 4
Member
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
you’re asking too much. Let him propose the way he wants to. you shouldn’t be micromanaging it.
and asking someone to marry you is heartfelt. I can’t imagine what you’d want him to say specifically?
Post # 5
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
@newcitylights: I would have let the bf propose in the way he feels most comfortable. Planning a proposal is daunting to most guys, they have it hard enough trying to find the ring we love. Most guys find that the proposal is their thing; and, the wedding is the girls’ thing.
Post # 6
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
Maybe he feels like it would be less intimate if there was some third party there snapping photos? Maybe he wants the flexibility to do it whenever the moment feels right, instead of on cue b/c a photographer is about to pop out of the bushes? Guys put themselves under so much pressure to plan the perfect proposal–and let’s be honest, a lot of times girls multiply that pressure tenfold. Try not to be so demanding. This is his special moment, too.
Also, based on your previous posts you are expecting a ring to be involved in this proposal, yes? So technically I’d say that’s 3 things you’re asking for. 😉
Post # 7
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
@mrssrm:
He did say “it’s not their moment” when I asked if he wanted a private or public proposal. So that’s probably it. he told me to pick the ring out, so he doesn’t have to worry about that part. Guess I’ll just leave it up to him!
Post # 8
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
@newcitylights: Uh…presumably he still has to worry about paying for it though, right? I have no idea about your SO’s financial situation, but a lot of guys spend a significant chunk of their savings on the ring, regardless of who picks it out. I’m not trying to be rude, but you do sound a bit ungrateful. Try to put yourself in his shoes for a few minutes?
Post # 9
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
@mrssrm:
you’re not being rude, you’re totally right. I am losing perspective and missing the big picture.
Post # 10
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
@newcitylights: I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all… that’s been my main request to my boyfriend as well. I really really REALLY want it captured on video or in a picture. I will be really upset if it’s not 🙁
Post # 11
Member
5062 posts
Bee Keeper
I would love to capture our moment on in a photo to share it with our families as he’s hinted we will be on holiday when it happens and I want them to feel part of it as well.
So I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. But, if your SO wants a private moment, compromise and do ring and happy faces pics after.