- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
As some of you may know, I’ve talked to my boyfriend about his timeline to propose, since we are together for 8 years and living together for almost 2, and was very much disapointed to hear that he was not thinking about it for the next few years, and would not propose while he could not fine a job that he likes more (he has one steady paying job but doesn’t like it and wants to change, maybe to another country).
I do agree that people should be settled before moving on, but since he talked about us moving to another country, I was afraid to let go of everything here (my family, friends) and go with him without any sort of committment from him.
So since our conversation (a week ago) I started feeling sad about us, I mean our relationship has always been great, we dated since we were basically children so he is my best friend and love of my life, but i’m afraid to be a bad person or resentfull for him not wanting/being prepared to at least propose to me (I told him I was ok with a little bit longer engadgement until he can find a job and move along with his career). I mean, I know he was always a career first kind of guy, ever since we meet and highschool. He finished top of the class, and for the college year when I wanted to go out and he couldn’t because of his studies and essays, I was ok with it, education was more important. I waited for him when he went for a year to another country to finish his masters degree, wich he did, and then came back and we moved in together.
When he finished his degree i thought that i was to be a priority in his life, that finally all the study would stop, but know I see myself behind his career expectations, to much to my surprise are taking longer then he planned.
So, I find myself lurking in threads about other waiting bees, trying to find motivation and hope that he eventually puts me first and give me the commitement I so much want.
I’m fraid I begin to “hate” him for not doing what I want and break our relationship forever.
Sorry for the long post, but I really don’t have anyone to talk about this things, my best friend told me I was crazy to even think about marriage at my age (24).
I’m afraid to leaving him, because i love him so much that even the idea of being without him forever brings me to tears, what brings me to my second point: I think he takes me for granted, that I would never leave, that I will be there forever until he is finaly eighty years old and on top of his career and ready to the next step!
So sorry for writing to much… I just don’t know what to do, say or think. I know I love him and he loves me too, but i’m afraid to start to resent his actions to put me behind his own priorities.