(Closed) resentment from the wait (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You’re pretty much always going to feel that way because you will never know if he proposed because you threatened to break up with him, or because he was ready to ask you to spend the rest of his life with you as his wife.

I think therapy is a good idea, but feel that you might need some by yourself and not neccesarily with him.  You’ll need to figure out why you had to force something that really should never be in the same vicinity as anger, hate or resentment.  It seems there is something underlying there that you need to deal with and I hope you do.

 

Post # 5
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@txbella:  Hey, congratulations. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Now, if you are concerned about whether he really wants this, how about you guys sit down in eanest and see about talking some wedding plans?  We often don’t think it, but even my lead footed Boyfriend or Best Friend who never seems to want to get married has told me No Justice of the Peace, He’d like a church or outside, he’s sad I ahve no relatives to invite (telling me he wants a bigger event than I do).

So get his input about that.  He might be excited about a bit of it, like the where and when, and picking his groomsmen and so on.  

This is also a good time to see what family expectations you both are bringing into this – like does his family like casual affairs while your wants a sit down dinner.  And you can also talk saving and budgeting to come up with a practical wedding date.

On the other hand, if he shuffles his feet, asking for more and more time before the wedding, changing the date, pushing it back over and over, and not because of a finacial hardship or other unepxected events tat are understandable, like  family illness or an accident or a layoff, then he’s not as ready as he says he is.

Post # 7
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

How does he feel about picking a date?

Post # 9
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

That sounds good, then.  I think a guy who was still feeling hesitant and gave out a “be quiet” ring would have waffled on the date, taking a lot of time to settel on a when.  I think the timing just came at a low point in your ‘waiting cycle” which is why it’s a little hard for you to be as ahppy as you ‘think’ you should.  And no one gets to tell you how happy to be – just have fun planning your special day ๐Ÿ™‚

He might like picking his attire ๐Ÿ™‚  

Post # 10
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it is natural to have some resentment when they make you wait so long. But regardless of how you got there, you are engaged now and you should try to enjoy it! If you cant let it go, do seek some counselling.

 

The topic ‘resentment from the wait (vent)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors