Post # 106
This entire thread makes me so furious on your behalf, OP. He would have been out the door after the “woman’s work” comments, but the comments about “your kids” are the cherry on top of the sh*t sundae that is this misogynist, sexist asshole. I just can’t. Please tell me you are not going to marry this trash bag full of festering dog sh*t masquerading as a man. Marriage is about partnership…it should be “our” bills, “our” household responsibilities, and “our” kids. Don’t settle for anything less.
Post # 107
I’m confused why after “realizing” it was crap and not mud on the floor, why he didn’t clean it up?
Post # 108
Oh hell no. If he wants a “traditional” relationship, that doesn’t mean you split bills. That means that motherfucker PAYS ALL THE BILLS and you quit your job. What he wants is a misogynistic relationship where you’re his wife-slave and you work and cook and clean and you say, “Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Was the weather bad for your golf game? Here have a blowjob to feel better.” Fuck that guy.
Post # 109
I don’t care if I’m called rude, judgmental, whatever for this comment: this disgusts me. It disgusts me that someone would stick around for even ONE DAY after their partner expresses any resentment whatsoever towards children from a previous relationship. How pathetic. And to keep your kids in an environment where there’s constant fighting? Absolutely disgusting.
Post # 110
NikkiBee18 : couldn’t have said it better
Post # 111
zzar45 : I thought I made this clear, but we’d known him for years before we started dating. My kids were friends with his daughter before. So the “don’t introduce your children to someone until after 6 months” is irrelevant.
I also said that he was never like this until a few months ago, about a month or so after our engagement. He never said or did anything in the 18 months before that would make me think he felt that way. We were a great team beforehand, he was attentive and caring.
Post # 112
This is typical, Bee, of abusers. After a major relationship shift, and engagement qualifies, they feel more confident in letting their masks slip. He feels like he has his quarry locked down.
This guy is emotionally abusive. His emotional abuse extends to your children. Kids are extremely intuitive; they know what’s going on. Your kids sense that he feels differently about them. And, they do what all kids do, they blame themselves.
Not only must those innocent hostages of yours be extracted from this dreadful environment, they need to be evaluated by a qualified therapist, ASAP.
Post # 113
lkk386 : Any update, bee?
Post # 114
Yeah that wouldn’t work for me. I would ask things to change now to show how it would be when we’re married. At least with household chores and everything. He needs to help more when you have less time. And he needs to pamper you too. I know you’re not married yet but I would expect to combine finances once you’re married so you don’t shoulder all the financial burden.
Post # 115
mrswin : You obviously haven’t read the updates.
Post # 116
He stayed somewhere else for a while, then asked to talk. He had a few good suggestions to resolve some of our issues and agreed to help out more, but the way he reacted when I even brought it up initially is still a concern for me.
He also has been generally unhappy, I realized I haven’t seen him happy in I don’t know how long. I think partly bc of waiting to close on this new business and the stress from it
Basically, I’m giving it this one last shot, giving him a chance to prove himself bc I’m afraid of regret not trying. But unfortunately at this point I’m half hopefully, half over it.
Post # 117
You are a glutton for punishment. I hope one day you’ll understand your worth. Right now…..you don’t.
Post # 118
You are just now seeing his true colors. He got tired of “acting” nice. I wish you could read this whole thread as if someone else had written it. Healthy relationships don’t look like this. Please consider what you are teaching your children, how to be mistreated in their future relationships…
Post # 119
Oh bee. The only thing you will regret is staying a second longer than you should have with this entitled, misogynistic POS. Now that you have seen his true colors, there’s no going back.
He let the mask slip, you finally called him on it and he’s now trying to pretend again to get you to stick around.
I suspect that you are going to have to learn the hard way. I feel sorry for your kids.