reserving a name for future kids!

posted 3 months ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
5122 posts
Bee Keeper

jessiebear85 :  there is no “saving” names however if you know your sister loves a name and you have the kid first you can’t be mad if she “steals” or “copies” it later. My husband’s family has a bajillion Jacobs amongst the cousins. It’s not a big deal. 

I think the best way to ensure no one uses a name you like is really to not tell them. People will forget and if they like the name may be inclined to use it because they’ve heard it somewhere recently. When I was pregnant my best friend knew the girl name (she helped me think it up!) but once Darling Husband and I decided on a boy name he swore me to secrecy because he doesn’t want anyone else using it. We had a girl and I STILL can’t tell anyone the boy name because we’re hoping to use if next time around lol. 

Post # 32
Member
2659 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

This is not a thing. Or rather, it shouldn’t be a thing and I’m sorry that your sisters are being catty about names of children who aren’t even real yet. I’m one of those people who has a list of baby names ready to go and would still use them even if someone else decided to. Some of them are family names and some are mutually agreed upon between hubby and I, which doesn’t happen often lol I’m glad that we’re not in competition with any of our siblings! 

Post # 33
Member
38 posts
Newbee

When I was 17 I told my pregnant aunt that I wanted to name my future daughter Emma Mae…and that is what she named her daughter. But guess what? I didn’t care! lol I was actually flattered she liked it so much and I was fricken 17…I’m 23 now and still not close to TTC and wouldn’t even like that name for my future daughter anymore (but is so adorable on my cousin though). 

The ONLY thing that bothered me a little was my boyfriend’s stepbrother’s wife (that sounds sort of distant but the stepbrother is basically a real brother-they’ve been togther since small children) was pregnant and we found out she was trying to name her son William at first. Well, William is my boyfriend’s name and he is actually the fourth. It has been a conversation multiple times before that his son would be the fifth and I honeslty would have been a little irritated if they had named their son William. My boyfriend was actually pretty upset about it at first. But, they ended up naming their son something different and even if they would have named him William, if/when my boyfriend and I have a son, we would have named him William the fifth and I’m sure it would have not even been a big deal. 

Basically, it’s not a thing…I suppose you’re allowed to be irritated if you “call” a name and somebody “steals” it but really thats about it. And nobody else besides yourself and MAYBE your boyfriend/fiance/husband should have even the slighest clue that you don’t like it. A child is a little miracle and a name is just a name. 

Post # 34
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2019

It is pointless reserving names! I was adamant for years that i wanted two specific girl names (before i met a guy i wanted kids with). Met now partner and he hated both names so our 2 daughters have completely different names to what i would of wanted several years ago haha! Basically you can adore a name for years but if you meet a guy who hates them you cant use them anyway. So it’s pointless reserving a name if you aren’t with anyone – as future partner might hate your name choice. (you may get lucky and get a guy who loves your name choices however this is rarely the case… at least from my experience) 

Post # 35
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think reserving is stupid. Who’s to say they will even ever have a son to call George/Ezra/etc.?

On the flip side, if my sister had a baby and used the name I liked, I’d simply find another. There’s millions of names out there.

Post # 36
Member
1187 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I disagree with the PP who said people in the same family can have the same name. If there are three cousins who all have the same name, that’s just confusing for everyone. Imagine your poor parents as grandparents on holidays trying to differentiate between the three Blakes. I think that unless you have your heart set on a family name, you just kind of run the risk of losing it to a family member. Kind of a first come, first serve deal. For example, I like girl names like Emma, Ava, and the like, but those are markedly similar to my niece’s name, so I won’t use them. That’s not the same as using the same name, but I definitely wouldn’t name my child the same name as my niece.

Darling Husband and I have already decided on our first son’s name, but we’ll most likely be the next to have a child, so I’m not worried about someone else using it.

Post # 37
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I have four sisters. We’ve joked about saving names, but all of our preferences are totally different, so it’s not really a big deal. However, if one of them absolutely loved a name, and I did to, I probably wouldn’t name my child that, because I love my sisters a whole lot, and the name of my child is not worth any animosity it may create. There are so many beautiful names to choose from. I can find another I love just as well. 

Post # 38
Member
8382 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah, you don’t get dibs on a name except in maybe some reeeeally unusual circumstances.

We don’t tell anyone the names we’re considering, so if someone else wanted to use it—too bad so sad, that’s what we’re naming our kid when she/he is born.

I think the best thing to do is not tell anyone. People are much less likely to be nasty about when the child is already born and you’ve made the announcement.

Post # 39
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

I don’t believe in reserving. I think it’s all fair game and a wild west race. My two cousins, who are sisters.. one named her kid Alexandra and then the other named her kid Alexander. My SO and I find it hilarious that our whole family calls both of them “Sasha” for short, so every time we’re like “wait who are you talking about” lol. But at least they both used the name they wanted. Altho one of my cousins did use a boy name I wanted (my grandfathers name) so I’ve been feeling a little weird about it but what can you do, I’m sure we’ll come up with something else that’s nice. 

Post # 40
Member
686 posts
Busy bee

There are four generations of “Gavin” in my family, and no one was “forbidden” to use the name.  This was back before it became popular (it was started with my dad), and because it wasn’t common, we always considered it a family name.  My brother Gavin has a son Gavin, and if the name hadn’t sounded weird with my son’s last name, he would have been Gavin as well….

Edit to add – two of the four Gavin’s always went by nicknames, so there wasn’t much confusion anyway.

So, IMO, names are free game!

Post # 41
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I kinda think calling it and having multiple names is stupid.

HOWEVER….we were team green so we had a boy name and a girl name picked out. We ended up using our boy name, but we are planning for more kids so if someone else in our family used our girl name like right now, I would be super pissed.

Post # 42
Member
3904 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

jessiebear85 :  Here’s my take on it:

You really can’t actually reserve a name. Just saying “Oh, I’m using that for a boy, you can’t EVER use it” is silly. What if you change your mind? What if you never have that a boy? Or a girl? 

However, if you know your sister/friend, etc. has their heart set on the name…Gavin and has loved that name for years, and there’s meaning behind Gavin and you have a son first and name him Gavin…I also think that’s a little shitty. Because as much as people can say “I don’t care, I’d name my son Gavin anyways”, I, personally, wouldn’t be okay with naming my son Gavin if my sister also had a Gavin. And I come from a family where my brother was a Jr., so I can pretty much say having multiple people in the family with the same name is needlessly annoying. 

And personally, I have had a boy name picked out since I was a child. It’s fairly uncommon (though I know other people in the world have it). If a friend of mine or a sibling chose that name for their child, I would definitely be bummed. It’s the only boy name I like – heck, it’s honestly the only name I like, period. So, while I would still probably use the name, I would think my friend/sibling was a little bit shitty about the situation. 

In the case of your sister, though, I think she’s just approaching it a little immaturely. Her mind is going to change so often from the age she is now to when she actually has a child. She doesn’t even have a partner yet who will provide input, etc. 

Post # 43
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

A good way to make sure no one ‘steals’ the name you like is not to tell anyone! 

 

Post # 44
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’ve been stuck on the name Lily since I was 16. My whole family knows, and no one has expressed any interest in it. Fiance has already agreed to it. So, at this point, if a close family member chose it (and it wasn’t a family name on their spouse’s side or something), I’d be frustrated and would feel like I couldn’t use the name I’ve been set on for almost 10 years. 

On the other hand, my sister and I both like the same boy name. Neither of us has our heart set on it, but it’s our mother’s maiden name so it holds sentimental value. If she used it, I’d find another and vice versa and it wouldn’t be a big deal. 

So I think it kinda depends. 

Post # 45
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s dumb.  You don’t own names. 

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