reserving a name for future kids!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

We have 3 Roberts in our family. My late grandfather was a Robert. My cousin was named Robert after him.  My other aunt married a Robert and they named their son Robert.  My mom named by brother Robert after my late grandfather.  All 3 have different middle names (only my poor brother has my grandfather’s middle name, Fred).  My brother used Robert as a middle name for his son.  I plan on using Robert in the middle name of my future son.  I am pretty sure that will be the one to do us all in and I will be disowned from the family.

Oh, and my cousin had the audacity to name his son Bennett when my SO’s last name is Bennett! 

In all honesty, it is a great thing when cousins share names.  It shows how strong of a family you come from and if the name has a namesake how loved they were or are.  I can see my aunts and mom are secretly bummed the Robert name hasn’t carried over into our generation and that is why I would like to incorporate it into the middle name, in hopes it doesn’t die with our generation.

Post # 47
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My friend just went through this. She is 5 months pregnant and told her whole family she intends to name their son a certain name. Her cousin just had a baby and named him the same name. It happens

Post # 48
Member
12216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It’s inappropriate and rude to tell people ahead of time with that expectation. Cousins can have the same first name and the world will keep spinning. 

Post # 49
Member
792 posts
Busy bee

I was pretty miffed when my cousin called her baby the same name I was going to call my baby 12 days before mine was born so I had to come up with a different name but I’m not like super mad at her or anything!

Post # 50
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I wouldn’t care at all if friends or cousins picked a name that I like, I’d still use the name. However, when I was in elementary school, I promised my best friend, I’d name my first daughter after her. I haven’t seen this friend in years but I fully intend to honour this promise. My sister knows this and I would feel a little upset if she decided to use this name. I also hope to name a future son after our Grandfather but in that case whoever chooses it first gets it, after all we both loved our Grandfather very much. I just want to keep that name around, I don’t care who uses it.

Post # 51
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

jgfish :  We have the same situation with the name Charlie.  It doesn’t really too confusing and it’s actually cute to get all the Charlies together for a photo shoot.  I was thinking about this some today while working and i do like family names,  especially mixing, aka picking one name from my family and one from fi’s.  For example,  fi’s mom’s middle name is Eleanor and I REALLY love that name and think it would be lovely with Vivian, Geraldine, or Jean from my side.  Hopefully he doesn’t have any issues with using it,  just like I love my grandpa’s name Harold and would love to use that too. Maybe with his dad’s name,  Pete. Who knows? We won’t ttc until after the wedding and we’ll still have 9 month after that to hash it out. I’d not let a sibling using a name get in the way of using a name I really liked,  but also there’s a lot of names to choose from. 

Post # 52
Member
2568 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

In general, I don’t believe in reserving names.  Within my sibling set, we used to bounce around names we all liked and all pretty much steered clear of the names our siblings liked.  There are two names that I had my heart on naming my future children.  Like ALWAYS knew those would be the names….annnddd then we found out we couldn’t have kids.  Thankfully my sisters and brother know those names are hands off.  I think they realize I’m not “ready” to hear those names being used for nieces and nephews.  

I have a SIL that said absolutely no name reserving, but she’s also the same one that got SUPER pissy at the thought of anyone having a baby before her. lol

Post # 53
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I told my brother years ago I liked the name Jack for a boy. He had this big, passionate rant about how he hates that name and it was such a terrible name… Then a few years later he called his son Zach. I suspect they had already picked that name out and he got mad at the thought of me “stealing” a very similar name. Since then, I met my fiancé and he’s not stuck on the name, so we’ll be using something else, but it still bugs me that he thought he owned not only Zach but also all the similar sounding names!

Post # 54
Member
4661 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think you can reserve a name.

I really like a name but my brother married a girl who goes by the shortened version of it.  I won’t say the name (anonymity) but it’s like Ben. I like the name Benjamin and her name is Benedict.  Technically not the same name but the shortened version is the same.  So I feel I can’t use it.

Post # 57
Member
6502 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Ironically, I’m not sure many people would consider a name until they heard someone else annouce it as “off limits”. But in my world, that isn’t something you can do, anyway. No one has a copyright on names. 

For our family it wasn’t a problem as the other people having children have drastically different taste from ours. We likely couldn’t have found a name we agreed on if we had to! There is another family in town with the same surname we have who has a son by the same first name as one of ours. I heard through the grapevine that they weren’t particularly happy about that (we had our son after they had theirs), but we had no idea they had a son by that name. He even goes to a different school from our son. And several years later they had another son, and they used the same name as one of BIL’s children, so they “stole” a name, too (again, not really, as they didn’t know about it before they named him, either). But when families are using traditional names, it isn’t uncommon to have duplicates.

Post # 58
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

jessiebear85 :  Who is to say she will ever have a boy? My sister and I both liked a boy’s name, and she stopped having kids about 12 years ago, and I have yet to have a kid. Needless to say she named her son the name. It was fine lol.

 

That being said, I LOVE my husband’s middle name and want to pass it on to our child. I don’t want to share it here, but it is unique and would work for either a boy or a girl. It is a family name though, so I have a slight concern his brother might use it lol.

Post # 59
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee

No one can own a name.  You can name your kid any name you want, even if your siblings, friends, and enemies named their kids the same name.  I think it’s stupid that people think they can reserve a name so that no one else can use it. And most of the time, it’s probably a name I wouldn’t ever think to give my kids anyways. Lol.

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