reserving a name for future kids!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My Mother-In-Law named one of her sons “Scott Michael” when he was born…one month later her cousin named her new baby son “Scott Michael” as well lol. I feel like first names are fine but it gets kinda weird when the middle name is taken too haha

Post # 62
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

“First in best dressed” in my family. I wanted the name Oliver, but my eldest brother took it for his first born son. I can hardly sit around with no baby, not pregnant, and actually not even married yet, and claim a name in advance! I suggest keeping your favourite names to yourself though xo

Post # 63
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nope, you can’t claim names. Most names just exist and are not inventions of those weirdos who want to ‘reserve’ them. Not only is it silly and a little arrogant, but it’s making some pretty big assumptions on what is going to happen in your life. Someone could harp on about ‘reserving’ a name and then not have any kids, or have kids of the opposite sex.

Post # 64
Hostess
9678 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Echoing others I don’t think names can be reserved… but that’s exactly why I’m not telling anyone what I plan to name our baby until the shower (I’m not pregnant but we’ll probably start trying this fall).

Post # 65
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

jessiebear85 :  While I don’t think that “reserving” names should be a thing, I also personally would make an exception if there was ONE name of each gender that I knew someone close to me wanted to use for a long time, and it was a name I also didn’t absolutely love.

For example, if Ezra was my sister’s favorite boy name for years… and it wasn’t my favorite boy name… I probably wouldn’t use it since there are tons of other great names out there that I like. But that’s a personal choice on my part. I think it’s reasonable and courteous, but no one can expect other people to do that.

But there are very few people I would make this exception for (siblings, absolute best friends–that’s about it).

I think that the important thing is not to tell people the name you’ve chosen, and hope that they don’t choose it for themselves! I have found that when you tell people what names you like… if it’s a nice list of names, they’ll usually say, “Oh I love those too!” Then you’ve planted a seed in their mind.

Also, if a name is really popular (i.e. Noah, Oliver, Emma, Scarlett, etc.), you can’t be surprised that a) other people like the name or b) other people have heard of the name and want to use it. Popular names are popular for a reason–they appeal to a lot of people, and since they are popular you kind of can’t keep other people from knowing about them!

Post # 66
Member
908 posts
Busy bee

I can see it on both sides. My older sister has loved the name Zoe since we were little and always said she would name her daughter that. So I would never dream of taking that name and think it would be pretty shitty if someone did. My sister finally had her little Zoe last year!

My other sister has a son named Chase. Well I met my now Darling Husband Chase a few months after he was born. My siser and Brother-In-Law say I can’t name any of my children Chase. ummmmm. What if I want my child to be a Jr? That legit is my husbands name! 

Post # 67
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

jessiebear85 :  I think it is extremely petty on your family’s part to dwell on this and call your little cousin Josua LastName. Seems like they take this way out of hand.

I have a couple of cousins called Philip, and we don’t do that to them. How ostracized might you feel if your own family was calling you FirstName LastName? I would feel very different in comparison to everyone else.

Joshua is a classic, very popular name, and has been popular for decades. Plus, cousins can have the same name and coexist and even like having the same first name.

IMO an acceptable course of action would be to call one by the full name and one by a nickname or both by different nicknames (e.g. Josh and Joshua; Josh and J/Jay etc.)… or call one or both of them by their middle name… or call them by the initials of their first name and middle name (e.g. JD, JK, JR, etc.).

I just think that the FirstName LastName approach is very strange and would lead me to feel ostracized.

Post # 68
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

On my mom’s side, I have two cousins with the same first name.  Named after my grandfather.  My grandmother differentiates between them by calling each First Name Middle Name so we know who she’s talking about.  I wonder if there was some drama when the second cousin was born, but it is what it is.

yes, I have names I’d love to use for future babies, when the time comes.  I may change my mind then.  I may not have boys to use my boy ideas or girls to use my girl ideas. I don’t share my ideas to anyone, though.  It’d be more a thing with cousins and their babies versus siblings, because my brother and his wife would have to adopt to have children, and not sure if/when that’ll happen, and FI’s brother is in a relationship but not at the next step of marriage and/or children at this point.

Honestly, if someone in my family uses an idea of mine, I’ll determine if it’s worth changing or not when TTC.  If it’s sentimental, I may still use it.  Maybe change to middle name.  But it’s not the end of the world if multiple people in a family have the same name.  Heck, I laughed when I met now-FI because he has the same name as my brother!  It’s been fun differentiating which one I’m talking about, so I say FI-first name or brother-first name 😂

Post # 69
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

hikingbride :  I agree, I don’t see the issue honestly. My sister told me names she liked and I purposefully avoided them out of respect for her.

Post # 70
Member
2800 posts
Sugar bee

Do people really ever stick to the names they like after several years? My sister had a name picked out for her daughter for the entirety of her pregnancy, but when she was actually born they looked at her and were like – no.. that’s not gonna work.. and picked something completely different. 

Post # 71
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

wolfeyes :  Some people do, and some people don’t. It’s a very individual thing.

Post # 72
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

I think it’s crappy to tell someone “you can’t use this name!” but I also think it’s crappy to use a name if you know a sibling/close friend has had their heart set on it forever. 

For me personally, Fiance and I picked out our future daughter’s name about 3.5 years ago. When we talk about the future, we refer to her by name. We even have a nickname for her already. It’s also an Italian name, and I am Italian. I’d be mad if someone used it. The name holds a lot of meaning to both of us. For this reason, I’d never tell anyone in either family the name. Don’t want to even plant the seed! 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors