(Closed) Resigned myself to my fate: words of encouragement appreciated

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

In the long run this is better for both of you. You deserve someone that you are crazy about and he deserves to be with someone who is crazy about him.

I would also take this as a lesson learned about binding yourself financially to someone so early in a relationship. Why at only 6 months together do you already share a car/lease?

Post # 4
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

A friend once told me ‘just because you are nice and your boyfriend is nice doesn’t mean you have to be together’….this is when I said to her ‘I can’t break up with my boyfriend. He’s nice’….and she’s right. Just because someone is nice doesn’t mean you should be in a relationship with them. we broke up 5 years ago and I felt like the worst person in the world. I pulled his world apart. He saw my family as his family (he doesn’t have family)….he moved from Scotland to the south of England to be with me. I thought I destroyed him. 

Nope. staying with him was the cruel part…not ending it sooner was cruel. Let me tell you….if you aren’t feeling it he will know. He will sense it. As my ex said to me as we broke up ‘I wish you know how it feels to be with someone who you know doesn’t love you’.

The story ends that he’s now married with someone who loves him and I’m engaged to someone I love. 

Yay! Happy ending. 

Post # 5
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
kayleaandrea :  

I don’t really understand the title of this thread – are you saying you are intending  to stay with him permanently despite not wanting sex/intimacy with him ? And you want encouragement for this?

Surely not.  I assume he is aware that you don’t desire  him, or are you doing a  big pretend in the  bedroom and intend  to keep on doing it? If  so I guarantee  misery for you both sooner or later.

If  it is only him you don’t desire , and you think you could easily  feel it for someone else- or perhaps you already do , then that is  a somewhat  different situation than if you don’t feel  anything for anyone and never have.  Either way, I don’t think it is reasonable or moral to continue as you are ;  at the very least , talk to him about it. 

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