(Closed) Responding to a STD?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think any response is necessarily expected?? The next time you talk w/ her you might bring up that you got it, but I wouldn’t expect a guest to call me or email just to say they received it.

 

Post # 4
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I imagine she just wanted to make sure you got it because she considers you an important guest.

I called a couple of my out of town friends to make sure they got theirs because I want to make sure they had time to make travel arrangements and that I had their addresses right.

I doubt it was intended to offend!

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I didn’t think you were supposed to actually respond to STD. Anything that doesn’t come with RSVP info won’t get a response. Wouldn’t that negate the need for an invitation? I don’t think you have a reason to feel bad.

Post # 6
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think that she felt that you were important enough to make sure you got it!

I worried that perhaps save teh dates would get misdelivered, etc. So I have contacted a couple people -just offhandedly- on FB as well just to make sure they got them. 🙂

For me it’s a way to make sure I got the address right so if I didn’t I don’t make the same mistake for the invite!

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think its a big deal.  I’m guilty of asking the same thing!  I didn’t do it in an accusatory way, I just asked because I know how some things can get lost in the mail or I could of made an error and sent it to the wrong address.  She probably just wanted to make sure it got to ya.

Post # 9
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t expect people to respond to mine.  But, I did ask.  This was because I sent 3 to one address and they arrived on 3 separate days . . .. I live in Houston and the ones to Austin and Los Angeles arrived the Monday after they were sent (late on a Friday evening).  But the 3 to one address took almost a week!  I got worried that all of them didn’t make it even though they were mailed at the same time.

Post # 10
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

You don’t have to respond to Save-The-Date Cards, but I’ve heard of a few people being offended when someone didn’t respond to one. So…. maybe we should all default to, “I got your STD, it’s soooooo cute!!!!” and then no one’s feelings get hurt and everyone knows it was received. 😉

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Do you live in the same area as her? I ask because we made a point to check in with friends in different regions, so we would know when the California ones got to their recipients, etc.

Either way, I wouldn’t read too much into “most people have,” I doubt she’s trying to call you out on some supposed etiquette mistake… it sounds like the sort of thing that you type without thinking about it. Either she’s worried about them getting delivered and she’s been checking around and found that “most” have been received, or she was expecting you to mention the STD b/c you two talk about weddings. Either way, you’re fine.

We got responses to maybe 10 of the 175 Save-The-Date Cards we sent out, a few compliments on the STD itself, a few random friends saying “cool, we’ll be there,” a few people who thought that it was the invitation and were concerned b/c it didn’t have a venue listed, a few people who had prior plans and wanted to let us know so that we could invite more people.

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Etiquette dictates no response is necessary to a STD. You must respond to a wedding invitation however, and can still send regrets even if you have received a STD and not responded.

That is a little strange she wanted everyone to alert her they received it.. we only had a couple people comment about receiving ours and I never actually asked anyone. I know the date has been saved for our wedding party and immediate families, so I don’t really care to be honest.

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Maybe she was just reaching out to you since you don’t keep in touch anymore to feel you out.

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe a bunch of people got back to her about it in a casual manner? “Hey, I got your STD! I can’t wait for your wedding” and stuff so she might have thought that you might not have gotten one? Or just be randomly checking? 

I certainly wouldn’t reply to a STD and I think what you replied back was totally fine. I wouldn’t have responded that I got the STD normally anyways unless it was a couple I didn’t speak to on a very regular basis or hadn’t known they were engaged. 

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