Post # 1
So I was hoping to avoid this, but unfortunately not. I’m 70 days out for my wedding and today I got my first ‘fishing for an invite’ comment. The comment was from an acquaintance of mine who I’ve known for a few years but only met once. She sent me a text going “Can’t be long now, have you sent invites? Do you need my address?”. However, she is not invited – we’re only inviting 80 people and numbers are extremely tight, it’s pretty much close friends and family only.
Does anyone have any tips on how to respond to these awkward moments? Anyone else been in this situation?
Post # 3
@littlebeanpole: I’ve read a couple of ther issues like this and it seems like the best solution is to respond that you are only inviting family and close friends.
Post # 4
@littlebeanpole: Just mention you have limited seating and lots of family etc. But it would definitely be nice to let her know, rather than she finds out after the fact that she isn’t invited (unless you have no mutual friends or acquaintances).
I had a girlfriend that I was friends with since we were 11, we sort of lost touch during college, but she got engaged our senior year. I was super excited for her, we hung out a few times that summer after graduation. She told me all about her wedding, showed me a pic of her dress, etc. She even mentioned that she wasn’t sure how easily they would fill the miniumum for their guest list. So I thought I would be invited. I even bought her a gift (which she knew about)….only to find out later that I wasn’t invited. We have a lot of mutual friends, so there was no getting around the “just got my invitation!” It definitely hurt that she couldn’t have at least told me. I would have understood.
Post # 5
If it’s via a text, I would ignore it. If it’s in person, just say something like how you’re having a small wedding and dont get to invite everyone you want to.
Post # 6
Unfortunately, it happens! Probably more often than you’d think. I got one as well, but we actually ended up adding the couple to the list — it truly was an oversight!
In your case, I’d just tell her the truth, that you’re having a fairly small wedding and just having close friends and family. I want to add that she will understand, but some people just don’t get it. Hope it works out for you!
Post # 7
Don’t embarass them.
“Hey I’m really sorry – but we had to cap the guest list pretty low to fit in our space and save some money. We really wish we could have invited you but we decided to keep it to just family and a few of our closest friends. Maybe we can double date with our HUSBANDS after the wedding?”
Post # 8
I had something similar – athletes a woman at work who I am friendly with but not that close. However a few times now she has said things like “I’m looking forward to receiving my invitation” and “I am expecting to receive at least an evening invite you know!”…. Interestingly I had always planned to invite her, but the fact that she has said these things a few times now has really annoyed me and almost made me not want to invite her because of the principle.. An invite is something you should be given…not asked for! It can make things very uncomfortable. Good luck with your friend, I hope she understands!
Post # 9
@pineapplez17: We don’t have any mutual friends and I’ve kept the wedding talk off Facebook for this reason – I don’t want to seem like I’m rubbing it in the faces of people who aren’t coming. I’ve really only discussed it with my close friends.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I think I’ll just reply and tell her that the numbers were extremely tight due to our budget and it’s close friends and family only. I’ll definitely suggest catching up for a coffee before or after the wedding to hang out.
Post # 10
@littlebeanpole: definitely a good policy! It’s pretty embarrassing being in a group of people and realizing…oh….I guess I’m not invited
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I’d say, “Yes, it’s coming soon! Nope, I don’t need your invite!!”
why are people so ridiculous?! UGH