(Closed) Response to Judgy Questions About Cost??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I had very nosey relatives who were incredibly judgmental about what my wedding cost. It was so hurtful. I even planned to get one dress and my Cousin told my Aunt how much the dress was. I then told my Cousin I was going dress hunting again, she came with me and said her mom told her to make me get a cheaper dress. It was utterly ridiculous. I picked another dress that was actually more than the first one and bought it. At the next gathering my Aunt started asking my Dad how much my dress, venue, flower, etc cost. He finally said, “Why? Do you want to pay for it? I’ll tell you the costs if you want to help pay for some of it.” She pasued and he continued, “We’re happy wih the cost of things, they’re staying in budget.” Then she stopped asking. I have no idea why people are so obsessive about knowing what a wedding, that they have nothing to do with, costs. I feel your pain. I’d suggest just being vague in your answers and try to appear almost aloof to the question.

Post # 32
203 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
utgirlie:  I don’t even think you  need say all that, it almost sounds as if you are justifying yourself . Myself, I love the “why do you ask” response,  or a jokey “oh heaps !”  And a quick subject-change.  Something like “oh and speaking of wedding dresses,  why is it   that  the  sizes are so different from street sizes  huh?

  • This reply was modified 7 years ago by sema4dogz.
Post # 33
631 posts
Busy bee

Is it too rude to say “why, are you thinking of having another wedding?” If you can pull it off with a smile I think it will shut her up.

I think what you’re planning on saying sounds too defensive. Just say something like “thanks, I’m really happy with it!” and change the subject.

Post # 34
1069 posts
Bumble bee

A friend of mine (who’s desperately waiting) asked me how much mine was. I didn’t think it was rude or judgey. I just said that I was lucky that it was a sample from a small designer so I’ve scored a real bargain (all true but not need to give price). 

Post # 35
547 posts
Busy bee

If I were you I would say, “I have to admit it costs a little more than I wanted, but we’re still on budget” in a cheerful tone and then if she presses further be like, “ummmmm” like you’re stalling and then even if she doesn’t get the hint somebody else probably will, and will change the subject. That usually works for me if I feel like someone is being intrusive. When I was wedding planning I got the most intrusive questions from coworkers but I could always blow them off by saying “I don’t know yet.”

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