Restrictions Plus Ones for Some Guests?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee

If the sibling is in a relationship, it’s not a +1; you need to invite them as the social unit that they are. If, at the time invitations go out, the sibling is truly single then you’d be in the clear not to give a +1, but I still would as it’s a sibling. 

Post # 3
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Just only invite partners of couples who are married, engaged or living together. That should fix it. If you want to invite other couples who arent in that catergory then you need to be fair and invite her/his flavor of the month.

Post # 4
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

This is always rude, but more so because this is your FIs brother or sister. 

Also stop being judgemental over his or her relationships. Who cares if they only last a few months or are on again off again? And why do you get to decide ‘these partners are never really that significant to this sibling.

whitefinch :  

Post # 5
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

PP is right. You can’t invite someone to celebrate your relationship while simultaneously shunning theirs. If the sibling really is single at the time the invitations go out you don’t have to invite a plus one for them, but as long as they’re in a relationship you should invite their partner. 

Post # 8
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Something similar happened to us. DH’s younger sister had a horrible boyfriend, they broke up multiple times and would get back togther only to break up again. We were clear from the beginning he was not invited to the wedding (she was in the bridal party and the last thing anyone wanted was him sulking around in pictures and her worried about what he was doing all day). Also he wanted to fly in the day of the wedding, have her drive 2 hours to the airport to get him and have her drive him back to the airport that night so he could fly home, she would have had to miss the reception. 

1 week before the wedding he broke up with her (again) and I can’t tell you how relieved everyone was we hadn’t invited him and didn’t have to deal with cancelling his plane tickets and all that stuff. They stayed broken up and now she is dating a great guy we all love. 

Only you know what is best for your situation, thankfully ours worked out well for everyone involved! 

Post # 10
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

You could impose the “same house or future spouse” rule as someone had suggested above, but you need to do that across the board then.

Post # 11
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

whitefinch :  If you were planning on inviting other unmarried couples then it’s just more hassle than it’s worth not giving the sibling a plus one! Just enjoy your day and don’t focus on this one person too much.  

Post # 12
Member
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We made a 6 month rule. You have to be dating 6 months at the time of invite to for you to get a plus one. This makes it so I have a chance to maybe know the person at our small wedding. Maybe think of that for your guests? 

Post # 13
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I truly cannot stand my sister’s boyfriend. He is hurtful, unfaithful and abusive. In the midst of an arugument and me defending my sister, he threatend to also harm me.

 

My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. Although i cannot stand her boyfriend, he will be invited to the wedding (Invite will say: sister’s name & Family. While i truly do not want him there, he is the father of my newphew and the father of my step niece who will also be there.

 

I learned during this whole wedding process that while the brides happiness is important and #1, you do not want to burn bridges during wedding planning. it isnt worth it.

 

Invite your sister and her boyfriend (by name, not plus 1). By holding the grudge, you are the one who is hurting, not him.

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