(Closed) Rethinking entourage for next Dress Shopping Outing… advice?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m not sure why shopping for the bride’s dress is considered an honor for the friends and family members. It’s perfectly okay to want some company or someone to be your second opinion but when it gets to the entourage point, it’s messy and too complicated. Think of it like shopping for a bathing suit: you wouldn’t have a full-on entourage for that, and no one who wasn’t invited would get their feelings hurt. Treat the dress shopping the same way and if anyone asks, explain it the same way. People shouldn’t be basing their value of your friendship by who’s “allowed” to come watch you try on dresses.

Post # 17
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I did my dress shopping the exact opposite! I started with just myself and then brought everybody in for the last appt, when I had narrowed it down to a few I really liked and had one in mind that was my favorite. This worked out so well because I got to form my own oppinions and didn’t have to deal with family/friend for all the ones that I knew I didn’t like. And then everybody got to be there at the end to see me try on the dress I actually wore and decide that was the one. So I would definitely go otu with just your sister and mother, or even by yourself, and figure out what you like. If you get any flack or want to involve your other people more, you could do a last visit with everyone.

Post # 18
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Tuscan Farmhouse

Take the most important people with you, it’s YOUR day after all. If you find ‘the one’ without the others maybe you could invite them to the fitting later instead. They probably just got caught up in the excitement of it all and didn’t think about their actions.

Post # 19
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Surrey, BC, Canada

I went dress shopping the first time by myself and it was awesome!! I had a blast. I ended up choosing the one I wanted, although I did go to other appointments just to try on others to make sure. I still loved the dress I tried on myself the first time, although I didn’t buy it that day because I wanted to sleep on the decision and also it was going on sale in 2 weeks from then! So on the day it went on sale, I took my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law with me and I tried it on again (no complaints here, I don’t ever wanna take it off!) to show them my pick.

I didn’t necessarily NEED their approval, but I did want them each to like it. Which they did! I would have bought it anyway though. Anyway it was a fun way for my mom to meet my Future Mother-In-Law as well and we ended up going for tea afterwards and chatting and it was super fun.

I am glad I didn’t bring my bridesmaids – they are all great girls, but not much into wedding stuff and don’t really wanna do that much for it, which is fine with me. After all, it’s not their wedding haha.

Post # 20
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you should just head out without them and don’t tell them.  I did things the opposite of you.  The first time I went out with just my mom and sister and didn’t tell anyone else.  I really wanted to go the first time without all the pressure.  I didn’t plan on finding my dress and was going to take everyone else during other outings.  Well I found my dress on that first day, I didn’t buy it on that day however and invited everyone to come see it and a few others that I liked on day I bought it.  They all knew I already had a dress picked out and they were very nice about the dresses I tried on just to show them and give them the experience and then they gushed over “the one.”  I think a few of them were disapointed but they got over and were happy that they got to be there for at least part of my dress shopping experience.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you gave them all the experience and you didn’t even “owe” them that much and you definitely don’t owe them anything more than what they have already come to.  I absolutely loved finding my dress with just my mom and sister and I think you and them will love that you got to have that special moment just the three of you.

Don’t worry about them, this about you and they will move on from this.

Post # 21
Bee
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’d go shopping without them and just mention that you went on another shopping trip, found your dress, and that you’re happy and excited with your choice.   You aren’t obligated to bring them, and in this situation, if it was me, I’d go with the “beg for forgiveness rather than ask for permission” approach.  Good luck!

Post # 22
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
LWatson1618:  

I work in a boutique and encounter this alot. Go shopping from now on with just your mom and sister, especially since the rest of your entourage sounds overly opinionated to the point it is a negative impact.

Once you find the one you have two options to make the others feel involved. One – once you have found the dress wait to order it come back with everyone and just try on that single dress and let them know it is the one that way they can get the fashion show experience but know you have already decided on this dress plus they are there for the excitement of ordering it.

Second option is to just order it when you are with your mom and sister then when the dress comes in and you have your first fitting invite the rest of your party that way the opinion aspect is already remvoed because you are in your dress but they still feel involved.

Hope this helps!

Post # 23
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I only brought my mom and it was perfect. I know my sisters, my grandma, my Future Mother-In-Law, all wished they could have come, but oh well. I found my dress and I didn’t have a gazillion opinions. You can totally take less people the next time you go!

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