Post # 1
Hey fellow Brides!
I have lately encountred many problems with my nearest and dearest girlfriends. I have not officially asked anyone to be in my bridal party as of yet but most have them have assumed they are and talk as though I have asked them. I have been in an LDR for a while now with my friends not being very supportive of this and have been quite distant over the last year. My Fiance proposed and no one really celebrated with me or cared that I was getting married or tht I am moving away from all of them this month to NYC to be with him. I have been off work all month preparing for the move and not one of my supposed girlfriends has even called or stopped by to see me. I am lucky if I get a text. When I have called all of them they keep saying they are too busy to see me right now. My mom originally wanted me to ask my SIL to be in the wedding and my Maid/Matron of Honor who is the only one that has been great through this and only to have them in the wedding party. All the others have asumed they are just in it but havent been good friends with me in the last year. Would you keep them in?
Post # 3
Personally I wouldn’t. It seems like you don’t really think you should involve either. I don’t have a set Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my bm’s went around telling everyone that she was basically my Maid/Matron of Honor just not officail well I went around with her and explained that no she was not basically my Maid/Matron of Honor as I wasn’t having one, and if really came down to it actually another one of my BM’s was basically my Maid/Matron of Honor but that honestly both of them have had a play at being unofficial MOH’s but the one who didn’t go around telling everyone that is the one who has truely acted like a Maid/Matron of Honor to me and I love her dearly for that!
Post # 4
From experience, the fewer the better. I have 3, my sister, my Future Sister-In-Law, and my best friend. I wish I had only asked my sister. Trust me, you won’t regret not including everyone!
Post # 5
the less the better. If they have not been there for you why should they stand up there with you when u get married? It is not just a title, they should be good friends.
Post # 6
I don’t agree with the “the less the better attitude”. I had 6 bridesmaids who were all from different parts of my life and had no relationships with each other. They all got along GREAT with no drama and worked together and split the efforts to throw me an amazing shower and bachelorette party and to celebrate with me throughout the engagement and on my wedding day. Just my own little rant on the idea that large bridal parties always result in disaster.
That being said, I had a large bridal party because all six of those girls are very close friends or relatives of mine and I love them. It doesn’t sound like the girls you are talking about share that kind of relationship with you. Don’t have them in your wedding just because they assume that they will be. If you have to address it just let them know that you have decided to have a very small wedding party and you hope they will understand. If they get upset and choose not to support you, that’s their loss, not yours.
Post # 7
They don’t particularly seem to care about you or how exciting this time in your life is. I personally would just ask your SIL and keep you Maid/Matron of Honor. You don’t need 15 people standing there with you if they are never really with you.
Sure it will suck when you tell them (if you decide to go that route) but they are adults and will get over it. If not, then they don’t need to be there to ruin it.
Post # 8
planning a wedding is a hard process, and it makes it much easier if you have lots of support from your bm’s. you don’t need the added stress of having people there that aren’t there for you right now. I would just go with the two and tell everyone else you want a small wedding party. I only had two, my sister and sil, and my friends understood when i told them i wanted to keep it small.
Post # 9
@Moose1209: Thats the thing up until the last few months these 3 girls have been my best friends for more then half my life and I do see the as family. I dont see why they have decided to all of a sudden avoid me! Its as if I have already moved away and they feel like not putting the effort in